It's just not Fair

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ScarlettHurts1990, Apr 6, 2015.

  1. ScarlettHurts1990

    ScarlettHurts1990 Active Member

    I'm honestly just going to go on a rant right now. I am so pi**ed off at the world and at the cards I've been dealt with in my life. All of my life, I've been tortured by people. As a kid, I was bullied by friends/classmates relentlessly. I moved in the middle of sixth grade and was bullied at my new school. Then, my parents divorced right at the worst possible time for me and my dad sort of just said "see ya later" and basically ditched my mom and I, and then tried to take our house away from us. So, basically, I was 12 years old with no friends, an unstable mother, an absent father, and the new kid in school. Nobody liked me in middle school and high school, although I made some friends by then, was terrible for me and I hated being there. Then, I get introduced to my father's friend who I got very close to. I was attached to her, her children, and her husband. I was only sixteen when the woman started giving me pot and alcohol. Eventually, she turned out to only use me as a stepping stone to get close to my father. She betrayed me, lied to me, and started threatening me. I was a senior in high school when this happened and caused me to go insane to the point where I was hallucinating and suicidal. I was hospitalized and eventually went to college where I found and met my soulmate. I had 5 years of health and happiness and I loved this girl with all of my heart. One of my good friends died in a car accident 2 years ago and he shouldn't be dead- he was brilliant and actually loved his life. After that, my fiancé began manipulative behavior suck as stealing my things, isolating me from family and friends, breaking down my car and other crazy Sh*t. I eventually had to break it off with her. Then, I fell for my boss of all people who flirted with me relentlessly, such as teasing, making excuses to touch me, staring at me and calling me "pretty." I finally told her how I feel and she said she doesn't mix personal with professional- than why the hell did you lead me on the first place then? I got very sick with depression and had to quit graduate school and move back home where I am so unhappy. I can't pay any of my bills and can't find a decent job so I have to have my poor mother help me out. I'm a good person- I've volunteered, helped people who were down, and did a lot at college to raise awareness on mental health issues- joke's on me, I guess. Honestly, I am really pi**ed off at the world, at God, the Universe, and everything that decided I should still be alive. I know I should be thankful to have been able to have joy in my life and live to be 24, as many people don't have that privilege, but I can't help but wish it was me that had died in the car accident instead of my friend. I can't take anymore. I know I should be grateful to have done so many cool things in my life, but I am so miserable I can hardly stand it anymore!
     
  2. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    No wonder you're depressed - a lot has happened in the last 24 years. And now you've got money problems on top of it all and have to ask your mother for help - so of course you feel like hell. What is the job market for you right now? With all the volunteer work you've done, perhaps you can turn that into a real job. I've see it happen, though you might have to volunteer a little longer first. I Know it's hard since you just quit grad school, but there might be something. The person I know never even got his BA degree. Would you consider moving for the right job?

    About your former, "flirtatious" boss.... That's sexual harassment and it is illegal. It's called creating a hostile work environment. Many lawyers will offer you a free consultation in hopes of sucking you in the door for more business but you might be able to find out in one free hour if you have a case or not. Touching you is absolutely Not Allowed. btw. Be nice if you had a witness to that.

    Please keep posting here, you'll get lots of other opinions and support. BTW: one of the hardest ages to go through a divorce is age 12. I'm so sorry this happened to you. ANd as for your father's would be girl friends, there are not enough negative words to describe what I think of her.

    Be kind to yourself. And hang on to that bit of gratitude you mention in the end of your post. It is very good for your mental health!