It's just so hard

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lestat, Mar 13, 2016.

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  1. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    I don't know how to feel positive.

    I'm not religious and I don't believe in supernatural things... But my life just feels so scripted. It's like a soap opera. I never get better because just when it's good... Worse things happen and the good turns to bad because I have lost it.

    I end up trusting people and just when I have a friend or a partner, they turn on me. Even the people I truly think will never turn on me...

    I just don't trust anyone anymore... I try, I always try, but in the end they betray me in really bad ways. ​
     
  2. Red Nightmare

    Red Nightmare Active Member

    I feel the same, Lestat, except I do believe in supernatural things. Often I've felt like I'm living in a surreal movie. And my friends also turned on me. I don't think this is a positive world at all, so it's hard to feel positive here. But there has to be good somewhere to balance out the negative.
     
  3. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Yeah. It sounds nice and I wish I could believe it. I don't think their is a balance.
     
  4. Red Nightmare

    Red Nightmare Active Member

    Why do you think there's no balance?
     
  5. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Because we're talking about emotions and what we deem is good and bad
     
  6. Red Nightmare

    Red Nightmare Active Member

    I think having some faith in a better world beyond this one is the only thing that really keeps me going. I did have some weird spiritual experiences that made be a believer.
     
  7. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Lucky you. I wish I could say the same
     
  8. Red Nightmare

    Red Nightmare Active Member

    I think I had a near death experience after collapsing unconscious from too much of something I shouldn't have been doing. I went to someplace else, like a living black void that was full of love. I didn't want to come back. Then later I was visited by angelic beings in a very vivid dream who told me that I had died. That and some other weird experiences made me a believer.

    Probably sounds crazy, but oh well. :)
     
  9. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry you have have had so many bad experiences.

    Sometimes when we are depressed we only notice the bad things, I am discrediting what you feel and experience, but try to consider that.
    However, are you getting any help to handle things? It sounds like life is overwhelming you right now.

    It does get better if you let it, if you learn to see the little positive things, tiny little things all add up in the end. It's easier said than done but it is possible.


    Take care of yourself, you deserve that!
     
  10. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    At the moment I'm not getting any help. Hopefully soon I can get some. I'll try to think about positive things... I guess it's just hard right now.
     
  11. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    It is hard, but not impossible. Start with enjoying little things, that's what I try to do... things like noticing a sunny day, seeing something cool in a store... eating your favourite food...
     
  12. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Yes. I'll try to do that. I just called the doctor and I hope they can get me some anxiety medication. Right now it's anxiety that is really messing me up.
     
    ThePhantomLady likes this.
  13. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    I, and WE won't turn on you. We'll always be here. We care. You deserve to be happy and you CAN be happy. Try to think as positively as you can. I know how awful anxiety can be. Sometimes I get so anxious it borders on being scared. But I get through it and you can too. :) Tell yourself that there's really nothing to fear and that everything is going to be ok. Like Shawn Mullins sings in Rockabye, "everything's gonna be alright." Like someone once said, whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." And you CAN he happy and peaceful. Find something you enjoy and focus on that. Do something you enjoy. Do something to get your emotions OUT. It can be writing or walking or going for a scenic drive. Music is therapy and Anna Nalick, in Breathe, sings "cradle your head in your hands and breathe, just breathe." Try to take it easy. One thing that could help is helping others. It would help them AND you. It helps you to feel useful and productive. It shows what you have to show for your life. You are stronger than you realize. I'll be glad to help in any way. You are going to be ok. hug
     
  14. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Its something missing in me. Maybe it's just losing a relationship... But I felt this before that. The relationship ending just made things a million times worse.

    Right now I feel I have no one. No one I can trust anyway. I wish I did.

    I'll try to get out. I've not left my bed today... I'll try to do something.
     
  15. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    We may not know you well but you have us. :) I'm sorry things are difficult for you. But they can and will get better. You just have to tell yourself that you are stronger than you feel. Use your pain to motivate you and to DRIVE you. There is good to be had in life. You can help yourself AND others. Get your emotions out somehow. Write or sing or cry or just do whatever to help yourself feel better. I've got your back. Do whatever you enjoy. Get at least one positive thing out of each day. Things are going to get better and you're going to be just fine. :) hug
     
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