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It's killing me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by silent_chaos, Aug 2, 2010.

  1. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    Being alone, no one to hold, no one to look into their eyes, no one to share desires, no one to say I love you, no one to enjoy special moments, no one to feel mooshy over. No one to grow old with. It hurts deep inside! Day after day. I feel I am missing someone to share my days and nights with, my dreams and desires. Did I metion it hurts!
  2. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I understand the feeling.
  3. Life is Dead

    Life is Dead Active Member

    Yeah... I understand too... It PHYSICALLY hurts... And it feels it will never go away...
    Sadly, I myself haven't gotten past this yet, so all I can do is empathize...
  4. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    I've never been with someone, and I missed out in High School due to my own insecurities created by catholic guilt mixed with incest problems in my childhood. I actually kept it secret a into adulthood, and it has led to many self-defeating purposes. I have a phobia of driving. I quit work and school when I feel I'm not good enough. Any feelings of attraction are reciprocated with self-disgust, and loathing. I lash out at people and push them away, while hiding behind my wall.

    This only leads to a cyclic action of feeling lonely. That and I'm a guy. Not talking about emotions is supposed to be our modus operandi.

    It is killing me the most right now because for the first time in my life I actually feel like I'm in love with somebody, but since I secretly have violent outbursts due to my recently diagnosed bi-polar disorder, I keep myself from dating for the greater good of that person.
  5. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    :(, I'm sorry to hear that :hugtackles:

    The loneliness has probly started to get to me for about a few weeks. Previously to that I didn't really care. But I really like some people that I know/see around and it's just basiclly knowing that I "can't have" them that gets to me. Something might happen later on, I just gotta wait it out if I can. Even if it kills me...:unsure: :laugh:
  6. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    I know this feeling all too well. I can't watch romantic comedies cause they make me depressed. When I do date someone they run away, because I am so affection starved that I fall too easily and then open up my emotions like a piniata. If I like someone I have to fight it to tell them so. I do self defeating things like tell too much information to people I just met. I physically hurt when I see a happy couple. I am constantly envious of all my friends who are with someone. Just keep trucking my friend.
  7. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    I am exactly the same way¡¡¡
  8. Adramelech

    Adramelech Banned Member

    Yeah I distance myself and withdraw from society when I realize everyone around me, except for me, has a love/sex life. I spend usually no more than 2 weeks at a time alone in a drug fuelled depression, and I never answer my phone. The drugs temprarily fill the emptiness of not having a girlfriend or anything.

    Although I don't give a shit about my ex, I still very much miss what we had. In fact I remember fast going downhill after we broke up (she cheated on me). I spoke to her not long ago, and while she was in another relationship, she told me she regretted what she had done, and I was the best boyfriend she ever had. Knowing there was no chance of getting back with her, this added to a bit more upset.

    Yeah I'm just empathizing and letting off steam. Sorry.
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel.

    Try getting a pet. It's not quite the same, but it helps loads. I got a cat and since then don't really get loneliness panic attacks anymore at all.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2010
  10. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    Getting a pet! Is not what I'm looking for. I have so much to offer, I'm a great person most of the time, except when I'm down. Then I drive people away! Then I'm even more down! Dosnt help being a lesbian in a small town! Today the lonleyness had me in tears again!
  11. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    The beauty of a pet is not the quality of its company, but the quantity. No matter what, they're there for you. Then if things with people don't go so well, you're not alone. You're never alone.

    Think about it. It won't replace humans, but it can help with loneliness, and maybe also finding humans. You might not drop down low enough to drive people off (something I used to do as well, but no longer) if you can avoid total loneliness.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2010
  12. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    I fall easy, and hard! It sucks I give my all! I have pets I have a bird that I've had for over 10 years! I love the little green monster! The new kitten I got is just irritating me more then anything! It's not the same by far!