My PMS is slowly destroying my relationship with my partner. We live together so he sees everything, right down to me waking up in the dead of night thinking my throat is blocked (just another one of my symptoms). He's getting fed up of me I know that, I think he really does love me, but I'm only part time now, for 2 weeks to 15 days out of each month I become someone else, and I get very ill physicaly. First appointment with the GP landed up in some blood tests they did coming back negative and them saying there was nothing physical going on. All this doctor offered was anti depressants, which I refused. My menstrual cycle started getting bad about 5 years ago, I have always had terrible pain right since I started at age 12, but as I've got older, the emotional & physical symptoms have got worse. I have not slept for 2 nights thanks to really bad pain and I'm not even on yet! I'm starting to think maybe, that if I love him as much as I do regardless of all the rows my PMS causes, that I should end my life now before this goes any further. I love him, and I do not want to be the one who adds any more hurt to his life, he's endured enough of that all his life. I wish he knew how much I loved him but I don't think he does, he just sees me forgetting my name & asking him what it is while we're stood in front of the clerk at the bank with me not knowing who I am, or me constantly coughing, sneezing, having fainting spells, feeling sick etc. And what ever for? I don't want a baby, I couldn't even manage to look after my puppy when I had her, she was so beautiful, she was a staffordshire bull terrier and she was LOVELY. I was so ill with PMS & stomach pain that I just could not get up to play with her & walk her, so we had to find her a new home. This illness has devistated not just my life, but everyone elses too. I have exhausted his sympathy, and I'm driving him mad. If I'm going down, then the only person I have ever loved is NOT coming down with me. If I end my life before I do any more damage, then maybe not all of his memories of me will be bad ones. Life is a 24 hour, 365 day a year commitment, I am 'well' for about 1 & a half weeks out of 4, as the time between ending my period and getting symtoms again is getting shorter. This wasted function is finally serving a purpose, it's killing me. The longer I live, the bigger the scar on his life is getting, he didn't fall in love with this. I've done everything to get him to understand, but I don't think he ever will, but then again he's one of thousands in that respect. I'm going to try & go back to the GP tomorrow, but I doubt any good will come of it. They don't beleive in this, nor do anti depressants cure it. When/if I get some money from my late grandma's estate, I might think about going private, but at the rate I'm going I don't know if I would have joined my grandma before then.