I'm 20 years old, and I feel useless and worthless. I'm ugly, and dumb. I have just enough intelligence to understand everything, but it's like I'm unable to learn anything. I did very badly in school from grade 5 to 12(high school), I tried to blame it on my lack of interest. But it's just like I have a mental block when I'm trying to learn something. I have trouble with memory too. People don't understand why a person like me who seems to have a good enough intelligence can't function normally in life. I tried to take college classes but I just can't wrap my head around it. I thought it was just math that I had trouble in but I'm limited in almost everything in life. I guess I'm just simply stupid. I work at a fast food restaurant right now, and it looks like I have no future. I hate who I am. I don't want to continue trying to live life working in fast food. But it seems I can't do anything more complicated than that. To give you an Idea of how much smartness I lack: I have trouble doing simple mental math in my head. It's like I was born with a curse... If only my brain would function normally, I would be a very successful person. I don't know what kind of disorder I have... Or if it's just low intelligence. I really need to know if there are more people like me. I just keep imagining getting a gun and putting a bullet through my head... My fucking useless head. I just don't want my family to see it. They work too hard to see their eldest son dead inside their own house. I need to leave a note and kill myself in a way where theres no trace of me left.