Hi. Here I am again. Another crisis, another desperate urge to kill myself. I've hurt myself (self-harmed) today, but it's not enough. Why is my life like this? Why is suicide one of my most wished for events? Why do I always mess everything up? Why did I make my life this way to begin with? Why can't I just give up? Why does everyone always have to guilt me into staying alive? Why can't someone support me? And why is the suicide helpline chat taking so long? I've called my therapist, I emailed some supportive people, and now I'm waiting for the chat. After that, maybe I can finally rest in peace. I hate myself.