its me again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SiCKxSAViOUR, Nov 1, 2010.

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  1. SiCKxSAViOUR

    SiCKxSAViOUR Member

    ...that strange poster that ranted about nothing. And acted emotionless. That was a front. A facade. A cell that kept me in place.

    Not anymore friends. If I can call you that.

    I just broke up with my girlfriend due to lack of intimacy (its been over a year and a half.). Apparently, that released the cell doors. Now it hurts like when I was younger. Contemplating seriously for the first time in years. It's not just a broken heart this time, friends, its a broken soul. Its like a revelation of just how bad my life sucks. Drug addicted parents. Deep in loans. Nepotistic grandmother, that dislikes me. Basically, I'm alone.

    Right now I'm listening to God is an Astronaut. Its so very soothing and mellow. It makes me feel strange.

    I think I may call into work tomorrow. And the next day. Gather my thoughts. But I'm leaning towards the end. I think its about time I met my maker. And ask why he spits in our faces.
     
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    You are not alone, there is support here :) I know that's not much, but it's something.

    I want to say to keep going to work. When i don't go i find i feel even worse because i just soak in my depression all day. Woek might not be the ideal place to go too but you'll be safe there and you don't want to add onto your loans by not working.

    I'm afraid, you are looking for answers in death that will most likely, not be answered. But in life there is that opportunity.

    Have you thought about getting some help? Does your work offer any services?

    Break ups will often start us thinking about our life and what we are really doing here. Give yourself time to explore this.
     
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