Ajay,
I really hope you come here to read this, cause I'm not sure how to get ahold of you. I no longer have an account on the site we met, or myspace, and I lost my phones with your number in it.
I'm really, really, really sorry for what I wrote to you. I was hurting from people once again. I should never have said I wasn't going to ever talk to you. I hope I didn't hurt you too badly by saying that, and I really, really, really hope you didn't do anything as a result of my writing that.
I won't cut you out cowboy, no matter how i feel about the rest of the world. As you've said we can understand each other.
I'm sorry. ou had nothing to do with the reason why I said I wasn't going to talk you, but I realize that can't be much comfort. Isn't that the problem with people in the first place - "judging" based on others.
You know my hormones are out of whack, and they're causing me to do all kinds of things. Not all things I understand, or even remember half the time. Two days ago, I wasn't just cutting people out of my life, I was punching myself as well, feeling I deserved to be hurt. That's probably the reason why i sent you that email - hurting myself by cutting out the one person I know for sure I can rely on.