It's my choice

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpang123, Oct 25, 2013.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    My mom is writing a will now. She said that if I have one more attempt, she will give the portion of my will to my sister. Well, to tell you the truth, I want to tell my mom to just give everything to my sister because I can't guarantee that I will live long enough to receive her will. Everyday I want to sabotage everything just for the sake of giving up on myself. That's because I continuously have urges to end my life...hopefully sooner than later. I dwell on being on life support again and hopefully this time, someone will pull the plug. I hate these thoughts but I'm starting to give up fighting them. What for? I don't have a promising future and I would do anything to kill myself successfully. No more attempts, but to really commit suicide. I want to warn my family that I'm not going to make it and therefore, I want to say good bye to them. They'll probably understand because I've been struggling with suicidal ideations and attempts all my adult life. Enough is enough. As soon as I find out the surest way to die without much suffering, I'm going for it. I am so ready.
  2. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey there, I know life seems hard right know but keep fighting. I know, I probalby getting on your nerves with the keep fighting, you can get through this and everything but you will and you know why? Because you are an extremly awesome person and you don't know what will happen if you go, how will the rest of your life look like? And we are here for you, we can listen to you, mabye come up with ideas. And I know what this means, I want to kill myself since 8 years ago or so, but all I have left is my will to fight. I don't wanna lecture you but I wanna say, that we would miss you here.
    You fighting so you can start living and I really hope things are getting better for you and we would miss you here. If you wanna talk, I am here for you :hug:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No your family will NOT understand they won't they will grieve and feel guilt so don't go there ok i am telling you the truth the pain never ever leaves. Your thoughts are thoughts hun ok let them go just say there is that thought again and let it go and do something for YOU ok something you like to do don't let thoughts control you hugs
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