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It's my fault

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ........, Sep 8, 2008.

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  1. ........

    ........ Guest

    It's my fault my house fell apart and I was looking for a friend (why would I ever want that?)

    It's my fault I got psychologically raped without knowing it.

    It's my fault I was trying to deal with everything on the net in public and look after you and love you because I'm in love with you.

    It's my fault I've been dehumanised by your friends and yourself, have felt like that all my life and AM AWARE OF THAT and am vocal about that.

    (money is a metaphor for so many things you haven't lived in my house and my life- i'm not speaking literally or seriously.)

    People using language that I hate when it comes to what I've been giving you which has nothing to do with fucking money.

    "I put myself up for sale" it's my fault I love. Yes, I'M GUILTY. I'm guilty for loving you.

    If you want to talk then invite me say it clearly and I will approach you.
    (I'm not looking for any replies thanks, I'm just venting).
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It's not your fault :hug:
  3. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    the last thing you are hun is 'for sale' and if you were, i hope the buyer would know your are priceless and worth a lot more than he can deal with.

    love, belcor
  4. .........

    ......... Guest


    But isn't it my fault others put a price tag on love? Isn't it my fault that I love?

    And you know what? If you give and give and give, you know what you become? You are 'sold out' you become worthless. Your value decreases. Because human life is just that. Commodity.

    If you want to love you need to do it in a controlled way. Not do it in a way which is spontaneous and unrestrained. Then, you become cheap..

    And if you've had a relationship or been in relationships where you explicitly say you feel worthless and unloved- then that effects how people look at you and respond to your behaviour. Because that's all I am- a package.

    And you know what? To ask for love, to say you hurt- means that all I have done- all my loving has become begging and I'm low. I've sold out. I'm worthless. And that's my fault too.
  5. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    you are wrong hun. we, as human beings, do need and seek love, to be loved and love and there is no wrong in this or admitting it. If one puts a price tag on you for it then he is a scum bag nothing else and not worth your time nor your feeling low. Nose up now and look up, not all look at other this way but with respect and dignity we all deserve.

    Be safe and well
  6. ........

    ........ Guest

    Thank you Belcor for your kindness and time. :hug:

    I think part of me was being sarcastic/generally doing the self flagellating that is expected from someone who acts and behaves the way I do. Too bad I spent a lot of time crying yesterday because of that.

    You hit on something integral about me which has changed over the past year. I'm fortunate that I do love myself and do like myself a lot. Everybody says that I hate myself for basic human needs when it comes from receiving from others. But then again- I've seen some people who 'need to be loved' walk over, hurt and use others in that effort to be loved or create a false image. I'm honest in that when I want love- I don't want to hurt or use anybody in that process or create an image that I don't believe in.

    Thanks again for your comforting words.
  7. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    No need to thank me .......... each word is meant. Yet should you feel low again, pm me, i'll be glad to talk with you.

    or if you have msn mine is granny1@live.it

    i'll really apppreciate you're stopping by for a chat once in a while.

    here's for your a :rose: to brighten your day.

    be well now and stay safe

    love, granny
  8. .........

    ......... Guest

    :hug: Thank you so much.
  9. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I dont know how to make a hug but i send you one directly from my heart.
    May your heart be at peace today. Dont hesitate in calling or pm'ing me if needed hun. I DO care ok.

    now have a smile and lets move on to better mood for a while and think positive, something worth in your life there is, find it and focus on it. :rose:
  10. define love? I know it seems like a tedious question but everyone has their own definition of the word, what's yours? and don't worry what goes around comes around the more you love now the more someone will love you later, just be patient it will come, don't give up on it.
  11. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    This is my definition of Love:

    1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
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