It's my Heart not my Head

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by 41021, Apr 19, 2010.

  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ***tears***
    why is it when someone is in deep pain, everyone wants to intellectualize, dissect, mind-fuck, rationalize, etc??

    when someone hurts that much, nothing is going to make any sense, nothing matters :no: one's brain is not functioning, everything is coming from a heart/feeling level.

    it doesn't matter if you love them, care about them, saying those words are not helpful.

    you think if someone has a gaping wound, blood pouring out of them, or a broken limb, dissecting the accident or saying i love u is really a helpful thing to do at that moment? If a kid falls off his bike and scrapes up his elbows and knees, is that what you do?


    ***tears***

    i don't feel good. i hurt. i am scared

    Leave me alone. Stop messing with my head. My head does not work right now. Nothing makes sense. It hurts.

    I feel like I am being shoved closer to the edge of a cliff, or i just have to jump or slit my throat to keep from being bombarded by the outside noise...i have to escape to keep it out of my head/ears. It's my fucking heart that hurts...
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey Kali,

    Not sure what to say as you have said sometime talking about "IT" and trying to understand the "why" does little to stop the intense pain ...like putting a bandaid on the toe when the arm has been torn off...not really helpful

    What does help when your feeling like this? I am here and I care. Please let me know I will give it my best shot as I want to be there for you.

    Love and hugs Bambi
     
  3. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    kali, im sorry.
    im sorry i didnt read this in time to stop making it worse.
    i do care. and i do love you.
    but unless im actually talking with you, i dont know what else to say.
    im sorry.
    im glad you at least stayed with echo.
    i was not trying to mess with your head.
    i promise.
    if i could hold your heart, be gentle, and keep it together,
    make it feel better,
    i would,
    even if it meant losing my own heart in the process.
    i know i messed up, i just made things worse.
    im sorry. im so so sorry.

    please, in the morning, tomorrow,
    let someone, let echo know you're still there.
    please, im sorry kali.
    i do love you
    *hug*
    and i wish there was more i could do than say that
     
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i understand what you mean.

    if you feel like you're being dissected, mindfucked and have people who talk out of their arses intellectualise you, tell them. how they react will say a lot about the person- if they take what you say on board, if they don't, if they keep doing the same old BS, then maybe take a break until you're in a better place?

    i hear you're in a tremendous amount of pain and i relate to every word you said.


    i'm not sure if this helps but i hear you completely.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 20, 2010
  5. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ****tears*****
    ****sobs*****
    thank u for eacknowleding mine feelings ugh
    ***tears***

    i figured out the better place part(good suggestion) trying my best to get there, will hunt down mroe in a few. i give up on roulette, time to say goodbye :sad: but no one to say goodbye too :lone: guess it will be a very long break.
     
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    no no no don't do this again

    i just got you back, i can't lose you again

    please talk to me - been trying to reach everyway i know how

    give me a chance to help your heart hon

    please :cry:
     
  7. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    no please
    hon, i know you feel how you say.
    i can never truly know,
    bc i can never feel exactly what you feel.
    maybe thats why its so hard.
    i dont mean to discredit how youre feeling.
    i know its real, i know it hurts so much.
    please, i care, i love you,
    and i dont want to say goodbye,
    i dont want you to have to say goodbye.
    :console: just give me a chance
    please :cry:
     
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    now its my head too :sad:
     
  9. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Kali... :hug: we all love you here. all of us! :wub: hun
    hang on to us. let us hold you up hunni! :hug:
     
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ever hurt and crying so much you just find yourself
    wanting your mom, just? but not wanting your mom just wanting
    i don' konw ugh
     
  11. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

  12. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    come back hon

    give us a chance to help your heart

    :hug:
     
  13. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Kali :cry: please hun come back. PLease?
     
  14. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    if something would help it, i would have fixed it by now :sad:
    i don't feel good **tears**
     
  15. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    **wipes your tears and hugs you tight**
     
  16. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **hug** ty
     
  17. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    your welcome hun :)
    wish i could help more...hold you together but we are so far apart :cry:
    :hug:
     
  18. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i already felt not so good
    i don't understand

    my heart was already trashed and now it's like my head is
    beating up what is left of me
    and i can't do anything about it :sad:
    all i can do is sit, not move, and cry
     
  19. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :hug: maybe thats what needs to be done... to just sit there and cry. oh how i wish you were not alone crying tho hun :(....if i had a car i would come get you :) :love: hang in there. lean on us. vent. talk. you can do hun! you can! **hug**
     
  20. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I know that feeling kali....I so want my Mum back to hold me and tell me it's gonna be all right....to kiss it better...like when i was a child....
    if I were closer I would give you the biggest hug ever but I can only give you
    these....:arms::cheekkiss::hug::hug::cheekkiss::cheekkiss:
    take care..pm if you need to talk..