It's strange for me to ask for help so I won't. I'll just tell my story. seven years ago I was in a MVA. Lots of physical damage but it's the mental damage that haunts me to this day and everyday. I have this feeling inside my head that doesn't go away. I've been to so many doctors and have paid over $6k in bills. This pain is too much and doctors say that im fine. Everylittle thing that I think about increases this pain. Right now typing this pain has increased dramatically. I said to myself 3 years ago that if it's still there in a couple years that I would do it and I REALLY want bad. The problem is, I now have a young boy(10months). So if i do it he won't have his dad. So WTF do i do? I have only felt content 2 times in the last 7 yrs. I do not enjoy anything. I feel that I'll only be happy when I'm dead. I sometimes daydream of my GF and baby being killed in a accident so that I could do it with less guilt. I also tried bud but just made me throw up. Paxil etc, etc didn't help