It's not a matter of if...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigman2232, Jan 31, 2009.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    It's a matter of when. Just based on purely logical, reason facts, I won't be alive much longer. It's just a matter of when. I have my ideas for ways to make it happen, I just have to put them into action and hope they work. I have a bday in about 23 days, so maybe I'll wait till just after then.

    I have nothing. Huge debt, no family I care about, No affection from another human being and no future. I've caused enough trouble and money loss, I just need to cut everyone's losses.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Bigman,
    Debt is just part of life. I had to claim bankruptcy a couple years ago and have already had ppl put negative stuff on my credit since then. Money is tight these days and the way I look at it is they have waited this long so they can wait a while longer.
    I read your thread about how you are always protecting others especially women. I'm also big. I'm 6'3" and 315 lbs. Have always been big for my age and ppl would always want to fight me because of it. Some I would just walk away from and others got me on a bad day and I kicked there asses.
    I know how akward it feels to be so big and watch the medium size guys get all the women. The thing you have to look at is you are very compassionate and kind to the fairer sex. Thats what most women are looking for. Myself I always chose wrong, I would pick up the bar flys and all they wanted to do all the time was drink. I got sick of it all the time so I would quit going and they would go home with whoever bought them drinks.
    It's all in choices. You need to meet women somewhere else like church. That sounds weird coming from me because I don't beleive in the church I have other beleifs. Suicide is not the way my friend. I have had three attempts and I am still here. I think about it dailey but I don't let it win anymore. I put it in the back of my head each morning by confronting it and letting it know it will not have me today...Take care My Friend!!~Joseph~
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Bigman,

    Most people are in debt at some stage in their lives and especially now with the downturn in the economy, they will get through this and so can you.

    Do you mean your family doesn't care about you?

    You'll find the right one hun, don't give up. Good things don't come easily,

    I'm always here if you need to talk

    lynn x
  4. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    hi hun :hug: please don't do this.. there are so many ways to get help for debt problems, so please try and take action that way!
    once you've got them dealt with (it may take a while) you'll feel a lot better, trust me! and then life will begin to have meaning again and you'll realise all the reasons to live!
    good luck :heart:
  5. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    It's not so much the debt as it is that I have no money. I have maybe enough to eat for another 2 weeks. This also means I can't even go out and do things to meet people, or if by a miracle met someone, I wouldn't be able to actually do a date.

    I just have no motivation to do anything and it just makes things end up worse than they already are. I've tried therapy, and it only provides a momentary solution before I get back into the real world and realize it still all sucks.

    I've tried to make changes but I just don't have the time or ability to make it work.

    And no, my family doesn't care about me. Well they care the way they have to but the fact is they know I'm not happy so they just avoid me. It's fine with me because honestly I feel nothing for them anymore.

    I'm just an ass
  6. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    you're not!
    i know it may sound annoying but you'll have to hold back on stuff like dating for a while until you can sort this out. you need to have this as your number 1 priority otherwise it'll never go away. just talking to a debt advice helpline will motivate you, all you have to do is pick up the phone. if worse comes to worse, is there someone you could stay with that would let you pay them back once everything have been sorted out?
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't do this to yourself Bigman. I'm sure that a lot of people will miss you if you died. Being in debt doesn't mean that you're life is over. Many people around the world are in debt due to the global depression that we're in. It just means that now, we have to save more and spend less. Please don't give up. :hug:
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