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It's not about feeling

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lex331, Sep 12, 2010.

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  1. Lex331

    Lex331 Member

    I am an insomniac. The mind consumes my attention. Thoughts of why flood my consciousness. People always say the reason others are suicidal is because of feelings of loneliness, sadness, or depression. I am inclined to think its for other reasons.
    In my case, I cannot say I feel lonely, or depressed. More simply that I cannot possibly think of meaning in my actions. What can I possibly do here on Earth that my inevitable death will not erase? Religion and drugs are only distractions. They serve only to remove the burden of understanding from our minds. Personally I cannot escape the thoughts of why. Why live if the only reward is death? Education, Family, Jobs, Love, they are all temporary. What purpose can they possess?
    I wanted to get an outside opinion, if maybe there was another who thought like this, who constantly is under attack from thoughts of pointlessness, thoughts that cannot be escaped. But like I said, it's not about feeling. I don't feel pointless, I just don't know anything and that is what causes my mind turmoil.
  2. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I used to care about things such as truth, purpose and meaning, but I came to the conclusion that life is all about lying.

    If a suicidal mate asks me if life is worth living, I lie to convince him that it is, he then lies to his kids to convince them that everything is ok, they then lie to their friends so that they can fit in.

    Friends, family, lovers, everyone is lying to everyone else, that's the way the world is. (though I'm possibly lying to myself here - it gets so hard to tell :smile:). So is there any point to it, should I care?' Well the kids do and whose to tell them that Santa doesn't exist?
  3. Lex331

    Lex331 Member

    I completely agree. Every single person in the world lies to gain comfort. Telling yourself and others that life is okay is far easier than facing the truth. It's the same principle when those who help others are really only selfish. Helping to make themselves sleep better at night.

    If I could abandon this state of mind i would happily do so. But I can't take the false sense of security anymore, I am not comforted by lies. I see through them too quickly. Is it truly better to live in a self-inflicted delusion?

    Life is the mental battle of "I don't know" and "I ignore the fact that I don't know". I just can't comprehend how another human being with the same cognitive capabilities as my own, can blindly choose ignorance.
    Death is the ultimate distraction. Lies fix the problem temporarily. I would much rather just jump off a building and get it over with. Ceasing to exist isn't so bad. I didn't exist for millions of years before and I didn't seem to mind.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 13, 2010
  4. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    This is a very interesting topic, Lex331. Why? What is the meaning of it all? What if there is no God, no life after death, no reward for our effort and suffering? What if evil gets a free ride and good is punished? What if there is no justice in the scheme of things, and why do we even keep on living in spite of all the countless griefs and disappointments we encounter everyday? Why do we keep going? Is there a point to all of this?

    We keep going because we believe that good will overcome evil, light will follow darkness, sunshine will follow tempest, relief will follow pain, health will follow sickness. And life will follow death. And that last one requires faith that for some is harder to arrive at than others.

    We have Jesus, the mystics.
    We have modern day near death experiences.
    We have miracles that cannot be explained.
    We have wonders that defy human logic.
    These tell us that there is something beyond death.
    Falling in love takes away so much of the hopelessness, because it gives us purpose, to live for another and to strive for the future to build for those we love.
    Love transcends death and gives meaning to all.
    To gaze at a rose, a transient feeling of wonder, pondering its beauty
    The incessant flame within the human bosom for life, shows the triumph of the human race over death.
    These tell me that there is more than this mundane existence.
  5. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    How will you ever know the answers to your questions if you're dead? Anyways I understand what you're saying, yes most of life is essentially pointless and temporary, and death comes as a reward for all the hard work.
  6. Lex331

    Lex331 Member

    Knowing the answers won't change the outcome. Yet it is all that keeps me alive. The possibility that I will find the answer and my outcome will change.

    Perhaps you believe good will conquer evil, that health will follow sickness. But I cannot. I find it strange that your reasons for the existence of an afterlife are simply since we can't explain it, it must have supernatural authority dictating it. Events that cannot be explained does not explain the idea that life after death exists. I don't how the universe came to be, does that mean that heaven must be present? I just don't see how those represent causality.

    Love is a word. Made up of 4 letters that alone, and joined, mean nothing. Love is not a feeling it is a dedication. You commit to another, but for what reason? Comfort? A sense of shared emotions that can overcome sadness?

    There is no evidence that suggests the existence of god is infallible. What is asserted without proof, can be dismissed without proof. I don't see an underlying meaning to life. I think it is sheer human arrogance to think that we alone are the only creatures who deserve a heaven, that we are the only ones who can transcend death. How can you prove that we are not simply an organism that evolved one step further?
  7. LogDork

    LogDork Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm an insomnia prone person too. The wheels dont stop spinning at night for me either, some reminders of physical damages keep me up as well.
    I dont need answers the "deeper" questions. I'm probably one of few that feel like I've gotten most of what I've wanted for decades through.
    I know the western US like the back of my hand, and a chunk of the east coast. Some on a bicycle, some doing construction back east, some chasing gals :), 23 years of silviculture, and wildlife survey contracts for the Forest service in the northwest.
    I've gotten my property, built my house and filled my shop with more tools than I could've dreamed of at 20.
    I've lived flat out, most of my life. I got some wicked scars, body and mind.
    I dont feel a loss for the meaning of life, it's been a good life.
    I feel ready to leave it, though.
  8. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I don't think the results of a life can ever be known. We wouldn't have computers if it wasn't for the monks who worked on water wheels in the middle ages. And the poor sods who died during the black death shaped history forever.

    My mate who died pointed out to me, how amazing dragonflies were, I pointed it out to my brothers kids, and maybe they'll tell their grandchildren. We're links between the past and the future. How is that pointless? I guess if there are answers then it's like a movie which we only get to see a couple of seconds of.
  9. Lex331

    Lex331 Member

    We are links of history's vast chain, though the chain itself is decaying. How long will the human race last? Will all this progress and documentation mean anything eventually? We live to continue the lives of others, but they themselves don't bear witness.

    LogDork you make a lot of sense. You have lived, just openly let life happen and you can't complain. I can respect that.
  10. Monsieur

    Monsieur Well-Known Member

    Slowly but steadily does the beast sink its teeth into our minds. We flirted with existentialism, but now as we fall even deeper into despair we must come face to face with the most dangerous philosophy of all, nihilism. Ah yes, I can feel the bitter ruse of nihilism flowing out of this thread like tainted blood from a battered corpse...
  11. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    The point I am trying to make is that we don't know everything there is to life. We can't say anything with final certitude about life. There are so many things we don't understand.
  12. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    For us to be alive here right now, billions of things had to go right. If at anytime the thread of life was broken before our conception, we won't be here. Many people had to beat death, so that we can be here. So many things had to go right. If one crucial thing had gone wrong, we won't be here, at all. Our parents had to survive childhood so we could be here. We have survived countless years of adversity to see the 21st century. We are walking miracles.
  13. LogDork

    LogDork Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Or beautiful anomalys :)
  14. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
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