It's not fair

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BrinkOfExistence, Oct 5, 2011.

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  1. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    All my life i've tried to do the right thing and most of the time there's no reward for it but i don't care about that because i don't do the right thing for rewards i do it because it's right, but when i feel like i'm being punished for doing the right thing, it's just not fair.

    I had to look after my kids because their mother was made homeless, but this meant i had to change shifts at work, which they helped me with but after a while they needed me to change shifts again but i couldn't so they gave me a choice either hand my notice in and i can have my job back when everythings over or i'll eventually be sacked for breach of contract, i didn't want any hassle so i resigned, which meant i had to claim benefits.

    So in order to claim housing benefits, i had to claim income support and to get income support i had to claim child benefits, so i applied for child benefits but it took so long to get processed that by the time it came through, my children were back with their mother and it got cancelled which meant housing benefits never payed my rent, so now i owe £2000 in rent and i'm being evicted, all this happened because i chose to look after my children rather than let them get put in care.

    Those 4 months of looking after my kids were the hardest in my life, i was given £30 a week by social services to feed my 2 children (i had no money for myself most days i wouldn't eat), and i was quickly getting into a large amount of debt simply because i had no income.

    To sum it up i'm in £8000 debt and about to be made homeless which means i'll lose access to my children all because i chose to do right thing

    What was i suppose to do? refuse to look after my own kids and have them put in care.

    After my kids went back with their mother, i tried to get my job back they said it could take upto a month before i got it back and that i should apply for Job seekers for now, so i did i was refused it because i had resigned from my job, i applied for hardship which was refused, no reason given so i applied for a crises loan for £30 to get some food which was refused because they didn't think it was an emergency.

    I've got my job back now but i'm still in debt and i'm still getting evicted...

    ...On days like this suicide seems more logical than irrational.

    Sorry it's so long once i started typing i couldn't stop.
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi Lee,

    I really hope the situation with your kids and finances gets better soon. I hope they are doing well with their mother, your job remains secure (convenient shifts hopefully), and that you have fond memories of a great birthday. I know it is probably really hard to believe in hope right now.. Anyways, I'm so glad she remembered it was your birthday.

    All the best,

    Alex
     
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