it's not fair

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mlxjaded, Oct 26, 2011.

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  1. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    it's seriously not fucking fair. all i want is to laugh and be happy like every other person at this school but no- i'm alone in my room listening to sad songs trying not to cut..explain to me how this is fair?!
  2. Breetai

    Breetai New Member

    Not every other person is happy... but I'm sure it looks like it!

    What good does cutting do? Honest question.
  3. JustFirefly

    JustFirefly Well-Known Member

    None at all.

    in the honest answer... The first time people do it, its USUALLY out of curiousity.

    What it does is it provides pain. This pain is a distraction. It becomes addicted because it releases a chemical that makes you feel alright.
    Once you get addicted to cutting its very very difficult to stop.
    The plus side to cutting is pretty much that most people who cut dont want to die. its usually a way to release stress. Nothing more...

    The down side is it leaves yu with scars...

    To be honest i wouldnt really start it
  4. JustFirefly

    JustFirefly Well-Known Member

    I know exactly how you feel. Im stuck in the same situation. Trying to be "happy" and im stuck in this place. Everyday trying not to cut - usually failing lately it seems (at least none of the cuts are deadly right?)....

    IT seems quite unfair that i can work my butt off for years and stay in the same place.....

    On a note - (i do not think that this is a cause of depression, rather its what depressed people do) - People who are depressed tend to listen to music and lots of it... While people who are not depressed usually listen to a lot less... They tend to read a lot more.

    Maybe try reading to get your mind off things?

    I just wish i could help you not cut, but its something im struggling with too... I just wish everything would stop.
    I just wish i could be happy like EVERY OTHER PERSON around here.

    Instead i sit here bringing my friends down more and more....

    So i know how you feel... If theres anything else i think of ill message you, how about that?
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Life is never fair... this is something I learned a while ago... it sucks but you have to accept it.

    Maybe stop listening to the sad music? Music is one of those things that can heavily influence our emotions. Why not listen to something happier?

    Why do you feel like you can't be happy and have fun at school? Besides the fact that it is school and school is long and boring?
  6. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    dunno wut to say, u cut i drink. We both need help n too look for it aswell.
  7. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    I don't really classify myself as a "cutter" because I don't do it that often at all. Really only at the worst of the worst of times when I just want to feel something else other than emotional pain. Something physical, you know? I probably do it like once every 6 months but I always end up regretting the awful scar afterwards.. I did not end up cutting that night and I've been resisting it since but I'm still all over the place emotionally. I'm at college- no friends, no social life..nothing. I'm too shy and messed up to put myself around people..Anyways, thanks for all the support as always.
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    If you don't have any friends, why not go out and try to make some? Are you at a division 1 school?

    The things you want you have to go out and get yourself. At minimum you have to go out and be around other people. With any luck someone might try to force you into a social life.

    At college there are tons of chances to meet people. Classes, clubs, social gatherings, various clubs charity events. Take advantage of that now. If you mess up so what learn from your mistakes and move on. That is all you can do.
  9. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't want to be friends with me- why would anyone else?
  10. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I have a similair situation, just started uni but I'm pretty unmotivated all together. For the friends issue, you should get meds for it so you can open up more. People say meds is bad advice but mental health is an ilness and should be treated that way. Don't force yourself onto things you don't want to do, there's time to get better.
  11. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    I honestly can't see myself ever getting better. All I've ever known was this, I don't know how to change..
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well then you need to work on wanting to be friends with yourself. However, I don't really think that is necessary. As long as you come off as shy.

    Change is easy, all you have to do is something different. That is all there is to it. Step outside of your comfort zone, and do something. It is really that easy.
  13. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    But how? Honestly, waking up in the morning and walking out the door to my room is even past my 'comfort zone.' I don't even know what I would do. Halloween weekend pretty much begins tonight and there will be parties everywhere but who am I suppose to go with since I don't know anyone? I wouldn't dare go alone..I don't know..
  14. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Correction, you want the outside of your dorm room to be outside of your comfort zone. However, it is more in your comfort zone than you realize.

    Halloween is the perfect time to do this kind of stuff. You can wear a mask if you want. Yes you dare go alone. Otherwise you won't meet new people. I am sure you might run into someone from your classes.

    Anyway here is what you do. Go to the party, feel free to sit and relax, but don't stay sitting for too long. Make sure to move around a bit. Look for a group of girls and/or guys, walk up to them, tap one on the shoulder and ask a random question. One question I like is the drunk I love you question. It goes something like
    I promise you anything set of girls will have an opinion on that topic. Then just keep the conversation going. It is not really that hard. Make sure to stand up straight, make eye contact and speak loudly. In a place with a lot of loud music you will likely be screaming at them. That is just fine.

    One thing that people don't realize is that it is perfectly ok to have canned conversation topics. If you want a topic to approach a group of guys with..... Well I don't really have any. However, you just have to make a comment about sports or ass(Girls in a sexual tone) and you will be in.

    Here is your goal for the weekend. Find a party every night and talk to at least one group of people. Just one, you will find that doing that feels really good even if it goes no where.
  15. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    The thought of me going out alone to a party by itself terrifies me. Nonetheless actually talking to people I don't know. Thank you for trying to help but there is just no way I could ever have the courage to do that. Like ever. I wouldn't even know where to go first of all, I literally don't know anyone.
  16. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You know I was just like you. Really up until about a month ago everything I said I felt would be impossible for me. However, I took the Nike slogan to heart and said Just Do It!!! Why don't you ask in some of your classes? Why not just go to a bar?

    Trust me I know how hard it is to do this stuff alone. I am a member of a forum that is dedicated to men who want to get better with women. There are always guys looking to meet up and go out on there.

    Maybe the social part is too advanced right now. i am assuming your school has a gym for the students right? Why not start out a workout regiment? The working out will make you feel much better. You will also feel more confident. Exercising your body lets loose some nice chemicals.

    Maybe conversing is too hard. Maybe start out small. Before class ask someone for the time or comment on the weather. Just say something to a complete stranger. Keep it short and simple. Then slowly build your way up to conversing more and more.

    In the end friend, nothing changes if you do not try. It is a hundred times harder for those of us who suffer from depression. People don't like to be around other sad people. Also people who do nothing obtain nothing. Even in the movies, someone might push the quiet guy/girl. Even they put forth some effort to make things continue down that path.

    Trust me when I say it is as easy as going out and doing it. Fake it, pretend nothing is wrong with you. Go far away if you have too. You will be surprised, however, you have to take that first step.
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