Its not fair that life always proves me right. It doesn't matter what I do I always fuck it up eventually. No wonder! Why would anyone want to spend time around me? I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve to have what I want. I know that. Why do I let outsiders convince me otherwise? Why do I listen to them that this time its different? Why do I let myself yearn, and start to believe. It will always be taken away again. I will always come back here again. I want it to end. I want to end it. But I'm trapped. I'm so fucking trapped here. I want to get out but I've nowhere to go. If I wait a bit longer, will it get easier to leave? If I can mke it look like an accident, will it be easier to reconcile?