I am physically and mentally drained by christmas this year. I was publicly snubbed by one sister and personally insulted by my mother and my other sister. Obviously my own family dont care for me much. Although i would love 2 say i dont give a damn, i do. It upsets me very much From being about 5 years of agemy mum has drummed it into me how disappointed she was when i was born Becos she never wanted any girls. My 3 older brothers always knew also and between them and mum they made sure i never forgot it. Thus i have never felt good enough, always felt like i am a burden, worthless. Now my time has come 2 do something useful. For once what i do will be good enough i will win their approval now i dont want it anymore. I'm going! And i feel happy about it. I said i would wait til after christmas and i have. No one will miss me. Oh, they would say they will but, its not true, its just what they are expected to say but its not real. The stage is set. I have everything i need.