It's not working

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by RedRead, Jun 12, 2013.

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  1. RedRead

    RedRead New Member

    I am in crisis. Last year I tried to commit suicide; I went completely insane for over a month and my family suffered for it. I am married, I have an autistic child and everything is a struggle. I feel like I am nothing, I don't matter. I am trapped. I feel exactly the same a year later. The pills aren't numbing me anymore - I need help. I hate myself. Things are hard financially, nothing is working, I am a completely horrible person. I am so upset. I am morbidly obese and I have no will to live.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi RedREad sorry you are strugglings so Being a parent as well with a child with a mental illness i know how hard that struggle is hun YOu are not a horrible person hun you are suffering and you need and deserve help. Can you talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and your negative thoughts you are having. Doctor can refer you to a therapist or get you intouch with autistic group in your area where you can talk to other parents who may have some coping skills to help you.

    If you are to the point of suicidal actions hun you go into hospital NOW ok don't wait until you are to low You get the help for YOU h ugs
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Hello and sorry to hear that you are feeling down. You definitely need to call crisis, or talk to your therapist, case manager, or doctor. If pills are only there for numbing, then they are not the right pills. I don't think anyone should want to go forward as "numb." You have a child that needs more attention than others, so definitely I presume you want to find wellness to some degree in order to continuing providing, advocating, and loving your child. Our kids are the most important parts of our lives, even more than how we feel for ourselves. Contact the crisis folks or your support team and get some assistance.
  4. RedRead

    RedRead New Member

    Thank you. My husband has given me the ultimatum - stay on the pills or he leaves with our child. He is not abusive, he is scared. I tried to kill myself last year when I was in therapy; I came to the conclusion, nothing would work and looked at our future and believed I was not worthy of anything. I am ruining everything. I finally went to a doctor, got my blood tested, etc. was put on more pills and I feel worse than I did. The pills make me feel nothing, there isn't a get up and go element to my life. I am extremely down and I am seeking help. I feel like I have exhausted all my friends/family and I am now a liability. People are seeming annoyed with me, I see people look at me and I feel they are judging me. I can't get through.

    If this is happening a year later, I know there is no hope. I'm not making any progress. Nothing seems worth it and things are breaking down all around me. My car, my furniture, my life. It's all breaking and not working. :(
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2013
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