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It's official.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sycotic_Sarah, May 6, 2007.

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  1. Tonights it. It just has to be. Can't be tommorow. Can't be next week. Can't be next month. Can't be next year. Can't be in years to go. Has to be tonight.

    Today went fine at the start, then it crashed down. Just crashed down. Lost my best friend, lost my other best friend, forever, lost hope, lost love, lost everything...

    Not everything... still have the suicidal thoughts... they still exist... not for too long... not for too long...

    I'm sorry everyone. No, I'm not lying. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I am serious. Yes, I am gonna do it.

    And yes, I am sorry.
  2. sarah :hug: please dont do anything, stay with us and talk? see a friend/family memeber, ring a crisis line, go to ure hospital, anything just please be safe . hang on in there huni.
  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Weve only just starting talking Sarah, and I want to try and help you, I dont want you to do this :sad:. Please let us help you.
  4. fading_dreams

    fading_dreams Well-Known Member

    you haven't lost me sarah. i'm still here. and if you want to talk you can pm me. this is chelsea. i love you, and i'm glad to hear that everything worked out all right. i'm sorry that you're back at school though. i know that's not waht you wanted, but at least it's better than being sectioned, right?
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Sarah :sad:.

    I'm really sorry you're feeling like this again. Please text me or something when you read this. I'm not going to be online for long.

    If I haven't heard from you in an hour or so then I will text you.

    Talk to me about what happened earlier, swear at me, rant at me, scream at me, or just chat with me about something completely unrelated to any of this. Use me however you need to to feel a bit better.

    Please remember that everything I have said to you is true. You are a beautiful, special person and you don't deserve to feel this way. I care about you ever so.

    Take care, please. I'm here Sarah, be in touch. You never have to be alone. I'm here for you, and I always will be.

    :hug: :hug:

    x x x
  6. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Sarah, I said it in that text reply and I'll say it publicly.

    I love you to bits. I would miss you so much if you did this :cry:.

    I KNOW I'm not the only one either. Loads of people on here feel the same way.

    stay safe. :hug: x x x
  7. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Sarah hun :hug: please dont give up. I understand that your situation is very difficult atm, but it will get better. Dont loose hope. We are here for you and really do love you. Sending caring thoughts,
    Beret xxx
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Whats been going on Sarah hun? Why do you feel it has to be tonight? Please talk to us :hug:
  9. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    Please Please Please!:sad:
    Maybe we can make your pain a bit easy to cope with...
    won't you talk a bit? :seeyou:
  10. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Please don't hurt or kill yourself. You are a person who is precious and loved. You are not alone. There are people who care about you and God also cares about you. Please stay in touch with us. You are so precious and you are so loved.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
  11. I can't go to a hospital, cant talk to anyone, no one knows...
    no one can know..

    by the looks of things Matt, we cant now, the post in announcments...

    hi chelsea, it isnt better than being sectioned, i wish i was now, i hate school..

    you mean alot to me lexi, thankyou for being so nice to me and for the kind words.

    i love you too. ;[

    beret... hope has already gone.

    its fucked now, i didnt get to do it... ;[ alot has been going on.

    not gonna talk about it.

    loved? so loved is being smacked up and down? loved is being abused inside? loved is feeling unloved? then yeah, i feel sooo loved.


    i guess tonight will have to do. even though tommorow if i fail i have to go back to school. arghhh. what the hell ama gonna do now? huh? what? i dont wanna go back to school, stupid fucking residential, i wanna die!!!
  12. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    loved? so loved is being smacked up and down? loved is being abused inside? loved is feeling unloved? then yeah, i feel sooo loved.[/QUOTE]
    I'm sorry you've been hurt. I've also been hurt by my others and by myself. I've felt ignored and unloved and convinced myself that I'm a hopeless case who everyone (and justly so) hates. I know that feeling.
    But the truth is... you ARE loved. There are people on here who write to you and are praying for you and want to hear from you because they care about you. No one here thinks your'e a loser, no one here wouldnt be (negatively) affected if something bad happened to you. And I know you won't want to hear this part, but God loves you too. He loves you so much that Jesus allowed Himself to be beaten and tortured and crucified for you.
    You are not worthless, you are worthy of love. You are precious and you are special. In our eyes and in the eyes of God.

    Don't apologize, thank you for being so honest.

    Please stay safe. If you want to talk, you can email me at holyspiritrocks@hotmail.com What school do you go to btw? I had some bad experiences in school too, but it is better to live and get out when you are finished it. In the end it will be worth it.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
  13. You're on my MSN list already... o_O

    I can't give out my school name, well, not on here at least.

    I'm not worthy of anything, death is even too good for me.
  14. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    I usually don't chat on MSN, but I'm good with hotmail. Can I ask you what is it about the school you go to that you don't like? I graduated from high school 6 years ago and hope to finish my teacher training soon.

    Let's keep in touch, you definitely are worthy of a lot!

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
  15. Am not! :hit:

    I don't like the residential part. I have to stay there everyday monday-friday and I get home sick and it's too violent, the enviourment, since it's for people with behaviour and emotional special needs, it's just too hecktic... :(
  16. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear you have to stay there all the time. Are there any kids there you like to hang around with? Maybe some sports or activity clubs? What are the teachers like? How much more time do you have left?

    Hang in there, when you get out you'll be glad you stuck it through.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
  17. A few I like, but it's all too much. The teachers are strict sorta... about 2 years left? maybe 3.

    I won't be glad, blah, it'll all get worse. :(

    me; :hit:
  18. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Hi Sarah,

    I hear you about the teachers. I'm glad there are some who you like, have you ever talked to them about how you are feeling? I think it may not be a bad idea, I am sure they will hear you out at least and probably offer some advice. I know I would.
    What I would recommend is do your best right now, and don't be afraid or shy to talk about your emotions. Don't keep them bottled up inside.

    2 or 3 years may seem like a long time, and they seemed a long time to me in grade 7,8 and 9 when I was being bullied and teased and beaten up everyday. I was bullied in school, and at home my parents were fighting. It was like hell, and I remember wanting to end my life more than once. I've tried too. I don't know you personally and don't know enough about your experiences to say 'I know exactly what your'e going through' (and we are all different) but I also can relate to feeling alienated and self-loathing and filled with shame and anger.

    Sarah, there is a future past these gates. Don't give up. You are worthy of love and care, even if you aren't receiving or don't feel like you deserve these things- you do!

    I am praying for you, and I'm glad and honoured to know you and keep in contact with you.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
  19. rojer

    rojer Active Member

    sweet dreams, baby leaving the world filled with nothing
  20. ty rojer ;s

    cant type i feel pissed... and dizzya bit..
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