It's Only A Matter Of Time

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sleepwalk, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    I'm not really sure why I joined this forum. Perhaps to find support, empathy, and maybe a reason to go on. After being here for a while I know if possible I wanted to help others considering the end. While I wanted to comment on many threads I found myself feeling hypocritical, feeling the same as the OP and trying to talk them out of what I wanted for myself.

    Anyway, I believe the end is drawing near for myself. I feel calmed when I think about my final days, relieved, even though I don't know if I'll be able to do it when the time comes.

    I found this song which I believe I will post on my FB profile as a way of saying good bye to my friend when the time has come.
  2. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    hi...what got you to this point have no definitive plan so that is good...everyone has a choice...and no one wants to take that choice from you, but maybe here you can find an is harder than dying...cos if you succeed at have nothing to offer anyone in the same place as you, but if you succeed at living, you can reach out and help others, so how can your life be worth so little when it can help so many. i have this same battle, you may not care for your own life....but surely you wouldnt want others to feel the way you do? stick around..join the gang and help those that maybe have no one else that understands how they feel.

    if you feel like talking about what got you to this place...we all have ears :sf::cheekkiss
  3. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    So much led to this point. Depression since like forever, work issues, money issues mostly tied to the work issues, failure, solitude, etc. I've lived under this cloud as long as I can remember. In fact I attempted suicide when I was 11 years old. Since then I've come close numerous times but there was always something holding me back, initially a fear of going to hell as a result of my Catholic upbringing, and also concern over how different people at different times of my life would cope with my suicide. I have since adopted atheism and have no religious based fear and have managed to distance myself from most of my family and friends.

    I do have a preferred method in mind but do not have the necessary tool, however there are always alternatives. My greatest concern is failure and causing damage to the point where my life would be worse than it is now.

    I'm tired. I have no fight left. It's all I can do to get out of bed most days.