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Empathy Only Its only getting worse.

#1
It is only getting worse. Iv struggled with my mental health since i was about nine. Ive fought past abuse from my mom and dad. i started cutting at age 11. I was clean for 8 months, and i just relapsed earleir today. i feel like a total and utter let down. On that thought i probably am a failure.I feel like nobody actually heres me out. Forget about that, nobody even tries to listen. im lonely. does anyone care?
 
#2
@savannah_baynana you are not a let down. You are struggling and coping the only way you know how. I am sorry you are struggling right now. Just because you relapsed does not make you a failure. I engage in self-harm when I feel overwhelmed. I often don't even realize I am doing it until I start bleeding. It is hard sometimes for people who haven't had depression or lived through abuse to understand just how hard it is, or why some of us are almost compelled to physically harm ourselves. They don't understand that we don't always just think "Hey, I'm bored, I think I'll hurt myself". It's often a compulsion, and, in some cases, not even done consciously.

You are not a failure.

You are not a let down.

You are a person struggling with depression and surviving abuse. They are hard, especially when you don't feel understood, or that anyone is trying to understand you.

Please stay safe and take care
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#3
Many here will listen and care. Eight months is good, you relapsed but that means you continue trying hopefully with support and caring from others and here is a place you will find such.
 
#4
I'm sorry you had to go through all that @savannah_baynana.

I know things may feel like they're only going downhill at the moment, but things can get better for you. There are people on these forums who care, and will listen to you. The fact you relapsed in self-harm isn't good, but the fact you were clean for eight months is impressive and an indication things can get better for you. Make sure you seek any medical attention you need.

Stay safe. Sending hugs *brohug.
 
#5
Savannah, you are fine as you are. We all fail at times, but we can try again. I'm not a cutter, but when stressed out enough, especially when treated outrageously and unfairly, I have been known to smash myself in the face. I have given myself black eyes, etc. But it might as well be cutting, in that I'm doing something bad to myself that I'd never do to someone else. Would you cut another person? Of course not! Nor should I beat myself up. Sure, we get a little dose of dopamine from self-violence, but there are better ways. I am working on not being cruel to myself; I hope you will try again. Love and luck!
 

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