I can't take it anymore. This pain is unbearable. No, no scratch that. I can't even feel it anymore. The tears are gone, and I'm sitting here, laughing at myself because I'm so fucking stupid to believe everything is alright. I lost everything, I have nothing. But no, not anymore. This time, I won't joke around. This time, I won't make such a pathetic attempt to kill myself. No, I won't attempt this time, this time I WILL do it. I have no one to say goodbye, no one that I want to say goodbye, so I'm sitting here typing this message which very well be my last to a bunch of strangers. I'm a fucking idiot, I can't believe how stupid I can be. I'm done with believe things can be good, I'm done trying to be reasonable and perseverant. I'm not going to do the same pathetic method of suicide I tried before, no, this time I'm making sure each and every pill I swallow will aid in my death. I'm not going to spend time to write a last letter to the people close to me, I'm not going to write a will, I'm going out, and I'm going to fucking kill myself. One less idiot in this world.