It's over, everything is over, now all I have to do is off myself.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Tatsuhiro Satou, Jul 26, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Tatsuhiro Satou

    Tatsuhiro Satou Active Member

    I can't take it anymore. This pain is unbearable. No, no scratch that. I can't even feel it anymore. The tears are gone, and I'm sitting here, laughing at myself because I'm so fucking stupid to believe everything is alright. I lost everything, I have nothing.

    But no, not anymore. This time, I won't joke around. This time, I won't make such a pathetic attempt to kill myself. No, I won't attempt this time, this time I WILL do it. I have no one to say goodbye, no one that I want to say goodbye, so I'm sitting here typing this message which very well be my last to a bunch of strangers.

    I'm a fucking idiot, I can't believe how stupid I can be. I'm done with believe things can be good, I'm done trying to be reasonable and perseverant. I'm not going to do the same pathetic method of suicide I tried before, no, this time I'm making sure each and every pill I swallow will aid in my death. I'm not going to spend time to write a last letter to the people close to me, I'm not going to write a will, I'm going out, and I'm going to fucking kill myself.

    One less idiot in this world.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am sure that you would have difficulty believing that I have been where you are, and was able to hold on because someone cared...that is why I am still here after 7 years...a stranger replied, I delayed my departure, and I am still fighting the noble fight...please know you are not an are in pain...and that, were it not cyber, i would give you a real hug...all I can say is that you do count...with much understanding, and genuine concern...J
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Tell us more about how you feel, if you can?
  4. wickedsick

    wickedsick Member

    Satou, i wil not try to persuade you, i'm in the same situation and don't know what to do, but just think about it one more time...
    try to do something to keep your mind busy,or just go outside for a walk, don't feed the suicide thougts.
    sorry, but that was all that i could think to say to you, i'm f***** lost and confused at the moment too.
  5. Tatsuhiro Satou

    Tatsuhiro Satou Active Member

    I'm like this because I tried to fight. Because I tried to become better, because I tried to be happy. I led myself to believe things can get better, I tried to force some optimistic attitude onto me. But in the end, I ended up getting hurt even more. The pain is so overwhelming, I just feel numb. Before I used to have trouble sleeping because I couldn't clear my mind, but now my mind IS clear, all there is is emptiness. I'm unable to love anymore, I'm unable to think of being friends with anyone anymore, and I am unable to consider myself to have a family.

    I'm sorry, but I have thought about it. I can't enjoy anything anymore, I really can't. This is just a suicidal thought, this isn't just a thought, this is a need. This is something that I truly need. All I am doing now, is sitting here thinking up the best method of suicide I that I can afford and do easily.

    No one should live a tortured life, that is the most inhumane and cruel thing anyone can have. Everyone is entitled to live, and end their life the way they want.
  6. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member


    Facing this alone - is stupid. No offence to anyone - some have great difficulty and are isolated and so on. But many - the horrible truth is - I think they would realise even if they succeeded in killing themselves - that one voice - one ear - another human being connecting to you can make you want to live more.

    And if you are a sponsor in a 'deal' - you got to consider how bad you would make things if you did - just go.

    OK Tatsuhiro Satou - fire way if you like - persuade me that I should maybe go for my own demise - because what reasons you see as valid are valid for me also.

    Reach out more my friend.

    Life can be a beautiful thing when we learn to let go. You can find many people here to help you on that journey.

    Confidence anew! The man you want to be is your friend IF this man is honest, kind, messed up a little but looking to actually change it. If he is - if you are - then hang on in there buddy. Your just a friend waiting to happen around here.

    It is up to you though. You know that. Maybe your new to this and think its like worse than suicide to talk to someone about it. In 'real life' often so - but here - this is real life but at a distance. Its more real than real life because how many people come up to you each day and open up about cutting, suicide, death wishes, plans and so on.

    Anyway - maybe we just met up as passers by - but we're heading to the same direction so stick around for the company. Say hello a few times - greet some random stranger - write 'hello, hope you are less messed up than me' - break the ice a little not your life.

    Good luck, God Bless, May the force be with you if you are a star wars fan. Whatever, I wish you well and hope you live.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Only you can make that choice.. But stop and think.. What if better things are just around the corner...What if the love of your life is looking for you..I'm suicidal also but am trying to keep a level head about it..Looking for answers that will keep me from doing it..Try sitting back and think about what it would take to make you happy.. Is that acheivable...If not then set goals to getting there..
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.