Its Over I Quit

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Forgotten_Man, May 8, 2010.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Ok I am fucking done, done this is it. I try to show interest in her. I try to fucking show her I want to hang out with her. I do everything in my power to show her my interest in her. I offer to hang out with her. She tells me "well I don't know". Then I say "How about I pick you up". Then she says "We'll see". So you know what I am fucking done. She obviously does not want anything to do with me. So you know what it is on her from now on. Lets see how fucking upset she is when I stop texting, IMing, or emailing her. I know she could fucking careless. With that ends my attempt at meeting women.

    You know what this is just what my life is going to be like. I shower the fucking girl with my interest and she just takes it like it is another part of her day. Then she does not even give 2 shits about me. So I am fucking done. You know what if a girl wants to find me and try to be a part of my life she can. However, right now I am done. I will just lie around waiting for the girl I love to come back to me. If she never does, well then I will kill myself, plain and simple. Because I fucking suck too much at life. No one wants me, all those who want me can want me safely from a distance. They are all 1000s of miles away. They do not have to actually fucking commit to the bit. If they get bored of me they just stop talking that is all there is too it.

    So enough of this all you mother fucking females lie to me. You tell me any girl would be lucky to have me. You say it is a shock I don't have someone. You all fucking tell me that I am a great and wonderful guy and you don't know why girls cannot see that. Stop sparing my fucking feelings. Stop it ok, you are all fucking lying to me, especially you Z. Fuck all of you. Unless one of you has the ovaries to find me and show me why I shouldn't give up then shut the fuck up. Tomorrow I get my rope, and from there on out we will see where things go. I don't see myself around any more at this time next year. Why because my heart has been obliterated. No amount of affection or sex can fix it. I am done, fuck all of you. I hope you are all happy. Another one bites the fucking dust.

    Lets just pray I decide to last till next year.
     
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Well wait just a minute here. Slow down. Breathe. What if this woman is just as nervous as you are? What if she has her own problems she's trying to deal with as well? Maybe she's not rejecting you but there's actually something about herself that makes her too self-conscious too see you. Have you considered that? Don't always presume the very worst.

    Come on now, you know these questions are in your head. Don't give up just yet. :hug:
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Prinnctopher's Belt: No I don't think that is the case. She met me once on a whim. I was just sitting in my room chatting with her about a movie theater and said "Hey let's go", and she went. Then whenever we talk about stuff we can do together she says "That sounds like a lot of fun" or "You need to be sure to cook me a chicken plate". I can understand not wanting to worry about having her parents meet me. However, that does not mean she can't get a ride from me. I know she has to share a car, however, I have a car I can pick her up. I guess that is coming on too strong. You tell a girl you wan to hug her when she is missing pieces of clothing all of the sudden you are trying to rape her.

    The have been answered, the answer is rejection. I have done nothing but chase chase chase for the past month. Now it is her fucking turn to show me she actually has an interest. Which she doesn't, so why even fucking bother asking.
     
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    woah! Stay please :cry:

    Email me... i need you :cry:
     
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    The fuck you all comment was not directed at the forum it was directed at women.
     
  6. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    i just dont want to lose you hun :cry:
     
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You won't, the internet is all I have left for human emotion and love. I am not going anywhere any time soon. I am just giving up on real life.
     
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    add me on msn :wink:
     
  9. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    So you're angry at her for not liking you? From what you wrote I don't think she's been leading you on so I don't understand why you'd be angry at her
     
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You are the first person who has said she is not leading me on. Where do you get that idea from?
     
  11. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    Well...

    I think that's pretty obvious. You even said
    And admitted she shows no interest in you. Therefor cannot be leading you on.
    So she isn't interested, stop seeing her?
     
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @lonercarrot: Sorry she has not ACTUALLY rejected me. She has not told me no. She says "Yeah it will be fun to hang out". She says she likes talking to me she says I am an interesting guy. Yet I cannot schedule one fucking date with her.

    What does it matter, I am done I knew this was a lost cause from the beginning yet I fooled myself into thinking it was worth something. I am done I am just going to wait around and see what happens with another girl I want. Then kill myself.
     
  13. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    Ohh, I see.
    So if you get a girl you won't kill yourself?
     
  14. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am talking about another girl in that context. If I could get this girl and by get I mean have sex with her then I won't feel as compelled to kill myself yes.
     
  15. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    How Desperatly Weak Am I?

    God damn it, why am I so fucking weak? I leave myself logged into IM for one day accidently and don't put up an away message and this girl decides she is going to show an interest and sends me a message. Holy crap, now I am back on board with a bigger reserve of Hope. I fucking hate myself even more. How easily I am strung back in.

    :i'm sorry: I really hate how my mood has been these past couple of days. Everything about this situation makes me hate myself more.
     
  16. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Re: How Desperatly Weak Am I?

    Hun, you need to stop. Block this girl (the one who this thread is about) block her from msn and delete her from your phone book. You are not nor will you ever get what you want from her, so why even bother chasing her? People are generally quite straight forward - it is us who convince ourselves otherwise. And if someone wants you, they will make it known.
    Concentrate on the other girl you told me about.
     
  17. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :bash: I know I know I FUCKING know.. :bash: :sadyes: at the same time I can't help it. The other girl is with another guy. I want a door... any door... it hurts so much. I know I need to get away from her. I know she will do nothing but be bad for me. However, part of me wants to believe that she is just super shy. Part of me wants to believe that in the end it is terror keeping her from spending time with me.

    :depressed: I just don't know what to do. Girls are not lining up around the block to give me a chance. :depressed: Plus I am in a self-destructive mood. I want to hurt more :bash: I just have all this stuff that I want to happen to me. :depressed: I just don't know any more... I just don't know.
     
  18. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Well if it helps come back and read this thread whenever you are feeling down on yourself.
    You know as well as I do that she is not super shy and there is no terror that is keeping her from spending time with you.

    If you don't go out and meet girls, of course they aren't going to line up around the block for you.
    It reminds me of something my brother said today about wishing he could just get a better job, one fucking chance etc. etc.
    I told him I had been applying for at least ten jobs a week and couldn't even get a phone call, he told me he hadn't applied for a new job in six months.
    It's like... the job isn't just gonna fall into his lap like manner from heaven is it? Same as girls - if you don't ask you don't get. And I know it's not easy but that's the crappy thing about life. You've gotta put yourself out there and be seen and heard to get what you want. :hug:

    Hurting yourself is not gonna make any of these girls want you is it? So you have nothing to gain by doing so.
     
  19. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know.. :bash: I just want so badly for it to not be true. I want her to just be shy. Plus I a weak... :i'm sorry: . To take from your job metaphor... I need a job badly enough that it does not matter if it is a good one or a bad one. Bills are piling up I am about to lose my apartment kind of stuff... that is how I feel right now.

    No... however... I guess I want to hurt. I want to hurt badly. So badly that I will just snap and become an emotionless drone. Or I will just snap and kill myself.
     
  20. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Still too fucking weak

    It is mothers day, of course, she must have been busy being a good daughter. That is why she did not have time to text me or call me or IM me to cancel our date. Yes of course, sometimes we get wrapped up in these greeting card holidays and we forget. So yeah you know I will forgive her for now. I want to forgive her give her one more chance. It is not like I wasted my day making sure that I was near my phone to get her message. It is not like I could have done something today anyway. I am too suicidal and depressed.

    I guess I can hope that she will want to reschedule. I can hope, then again I cannot make her invite herself. So I guess I will set up the invite no... then again if she REALLY wanted to she would ask to see. Lets see how much she really wants too.