Ok I am fucking done, done this is it. I try to show interest in her. I try to fucking show her I want to hang out with her. I do everything in my power to show her my interest in her. I offer to hang out with her. She tells me "well I don't know". Then I say "How about I pick you up". Then she says "We'll see". So you know what I am fucking done. She obviously does not want anything to do with me. So you know what it is on her from now on. Lets see how fucking upset she is when I stop texting, IMing, or emailing her. I know she could fucking careless. With that ends my attempt at meeting women. You know what this is just what my life is going to be like. I shower the fucking girl with my interest and she just takes it like it is another part of her day. Then she does not even give 2 shits about me. So I am fucking done. You know what if a girl wants to find me and try to be a part of my life she can. However, right now I am done. I will just lie around waiting for the girl I love to come back to me. If she never does, well then I will kill myself, plain and simple. Because I fucking suck too much at life. No one wants me, all those who want me can want me safely from a distance. They are all 1000s of miles away. They do not have to actually fucking commit to the bit. If they get bored of me they just stop talking that is all there is too it. So enough of this all you mother fucking females lie to me. You tell me any girl would be lucky to have me. You say it is a shock I don't have someone. You all fucking tell me that I am a great and wonderful guy and you don't know why girls cannot see that. Stop sparing my fucking feelings. Stop it ok, you are all fucking lying to me, especially you Z. Fuck all of you. Unless one of you has the ovaries to find me and show me why I shouldn't give up then shut the fuck up. Tomorrow I get my rope, and from there on out we will see where things go. I don't see myself around any more at this time next year. Why because my heart has been obliterated. No amount of affection or sex can fix it. I am done, fuck all of you. I hope you are all happy. Another one bites the fucking dust. Lets just pray I decide to last till next year.