its over

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lost_child

Well-Known Member
#1
My abuse has finally stopped, I'm 28 and abuse is all i've known, since I can remember (3 or 4) I have been abused....now I feel empty. Like there's nothing left. Now what happens? where do i go from here? everything I know is over. I've even gone back to my abusive ex..just so that i can feel..I know its not right and I shouldn't have but yet there is this need, that I have that has to be abused, or hurt, or what.

please can someone tell me where I go from here. Suicide is all I'm thinking about, I managed to reach out last nite as I sat there with pills in my hand (i can't say what, but I realise now how to stop myself from being sick, and letting the pills get into my system and end it)...but what happens, if I get myself in that state again but can't get hold of my friend...
 
D

Dave_N

#2
My abuse has finally stopped, I'm 28 and abuse is all i've known, since I can remember (3 or 4) I have been abused....now I feel empty. Like there's nothing left. Now what happens? where do i go from here? everything I know is over. I've even gone back to my abusive ex..just so that i can feel..I know its not right and I shouldn't have but yet there is this need, that I have that has to be abused, or hurt, or what.
I think I understand what you're saying lost_child. You were abused for most of your life as a child, and you became used to being abused. But now that you're no longer an abuse victim, you feel like there's nothing left for you to feel? You don't know how good it feels to be in a loving relationship, because you've never been in one. I think that you should first, leave your abusive ex-boyfriend, before something bad happens. You need to find someone who will love you and take care of you. You don't need to be abused, nobody does. It's time to finally move on and reclaim your life. :hug:
 
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