Its Over

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Forgotten_Man, Aug 14, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I wish I had more beer to drink. Oh well I do not need booze. I need carbon monoxide, yup that is what I need.

    Anyway let me start from the top. So I heard that my ex, who I call Z, had broken up with her boyfriend. This came as welcome news to my ears. That meant I could probably get her back. So finally after a month of barely hearing from her at all, we make plans. Well guess what, this guy decides to call her. They decide that they want to try one more time. So she cancels our hang out to go fuck him.

    To make things worse, she tells me that she has feelings for me. She tells me that during these past few months. Whenever we would hang out or talk on the phone. Those feelings were enough to make her second guess her choice to be in a relationship with this new guy. That is the reason he broke up with her. Because she told him she still had feelings for me. To be honest, if the simple act of talking to me on the phone was enough to make her second guess her choice WHY THE FUCK is she even with this guy? Anyway she wants to give him a real chance to be her boyfriend. Correct me if I am wrong, but if you really want to be with someone. You should not have to make yourself want and love them.

    So here I am once again looking for a reason to keep living. I do not know why I ask to be honest. The bucket I am asking you guys to fill has no bottom. To be honest I am not sure if I will make it to the end of today. I am pretty sure that my heart will find its way to the van in my garage. I thought love and females were worth it. They are not worth the energy it takes to pull down my pants.

    So everything is over for me. I will be dead in as little as 10 hours or maybe it will take me as long as 3 years to kill myself. However, there is no hope for me it is all over. I will never find another female like Z. My heart is broken beyond repair. Whatever hope I had for the future was smashed by Z as well. Because all I can do is see ways to kill myself in every cornor of this existence.
     
  2. cashing_out

    cashing_out Well-Known Member

    Bro, we have all had our hearts broken. Women are like busses, there is another one just around the corner. No reason to take your own life. There are folks on here that have it way worse than you or me and they are working through it, so can you. She is playing you, your her puppet and the strings are attached to your heart. Let her go and go find another one. When doors close, others open. The last time a woman broke my heart, was the last time I let it happen. I was in my 20s. I am now in my 40s. Here is a little trick I learned about relationships and its true no matter if its a friendship or if its romantic......"Who ever cares the least about the relationship, has the most control". Keep your chin up bro and dont let her force you into making a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Your analogy about females made me laugh. Sadly I do not believe it. As this girl was the first girl I let into my life. I met her at the tender young age of 21.

    I am well aware that I am being played so I am not letting her play me anymore. I also know that people on here have it way harder than me. I use that fact to fuel the fire of my self-hatred.

    My problem is not a temporary one either. It is a permanent one as I can only see women as having one use. So I need a permanent solution.
     
  4. cashing_out

    cashing_out Well-Known Member

    I understand how you feel. I have been married three times. All of them were the love of my life. Now, after almost 12 years with my current wife, I dont know how I ever got along without her and yes, if she left me I would be devistated. It almost happened over 4th of July weekend. That put me on this forum. I was suicidal. Not just cuz she was going to leave me but cuz I was addicted to the relationship, not her. So, during the week or more it took me to mend the crisis, I was under the impression that it was over and I was beginning to put my end of the world plan into action. I had my wedding ring off and kept to myself so I would not arouse any attention to myself. But, small town politics and rumers around the espresso machine had the word out that I was fair game. I had sooooooo many women hit on me I was dumbfounded. Some of them, half my age. It kinda made me feel good that I still had it but at the same time, I was so used to the security of being married, all I wanted was my good ole battle axe back.....bless her heart. I do understand you. I pray for you and hope it works out. Women have the ability to change their mind at the drop of a hat. We, as men are expected to understand that. Your a senior member on SF, for your sake, I hope she comes back to you. If she doesnt, please stay and dont take your life. I may need you at one point to save mine........
     
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Sadly I do not live in a small town. Plus females seem to care less that I even exist at the places I frequent so sadly I am not going to meet another female. Even if I did, I have no idea how to pitch woo. So I would likely get to date one and that would be it. Just like my roommate does. The only reason he is dating is because he uses eharmony. After all females are not lining up to hit on me. No one but my roommate and my boss knew I even spoke to females on a casual basis. I am just ugly, inside and out, and females can see that a mile away.

    Right now I can barely save my own life. I am probably not going to be able to save anyone elses.

    --- edit ---
    Also I cannot just take her back. That enables her to leave And come back whenever she gets bored. I am just going to have to Bunker down and accept the fact that she was the only chance I will ever get.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2010
  6. cashing_out

    cashing_out Well-Known Member

    Have you ever seen a guy with a knockout woman and wondered how a guy like that got a girl like her? Trust me, its not the looks. I am by far a prize posession but I am positive and carry myself well. Ever see the move "Hitch"? Come on brother, pull yourself together. The more positive you are about getting your girl back, the better your chances are. Here is my fear. I get a terminal illness, I go off and put my plan into action and then, after im dead, they find a cure. Or even worse, I get put in jail and they find a cure. Wouldnt it suck if you cashed out and then she wanted you back??? Dont do it........especially out of spite......and FYI, you have already started to save my life......so, too late and thank you.
     
  7. cashing_out

    cashing_out Well-Known Member

    You can take her back. Remember the old saying, if you love something set it free, if it doesnt come back, it was never yours, if it does come back, its yours forever........
     
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @cashing_out: No I have never seen the movie Hitch. The main character in the movie reminds me of all the guys who laugh at me... well online since I do not go outside that much.

    I am not getting her back. I set her free once and she did not come back. In fact right before she came back she decided she would go back to a guy she was not even sure about to begin with.

    I am glad my pathetic existence can help you feel better.
     
  9. cashing_out

    cashing_out Well-Known Member

    Please do not mis interpret my posts. Your not pathetic. But your existance does help keep me alive. I am alive because I want to be. What I mean by you are already helping me is that when I try to offer you advise, even though it is all wrong, it helps me work through my problems and opens my eyes. We are all on this forum to get help one way or another, right? Otherwise, we would all be dead. We are seeking help. Thats a good thing. We know how we are and how close we are to the edge. I am sorry if the things I said hurt your feelings or made you bitter towards me. That was not my intension. My intension was to help save your life by giving you some positive feedback. I guess I have more to learn about how to help other people. Perhaps I should just not offer advise, keep my thoughts to myself and just vent about my own problems. Sorry.
     
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    No worries, I need to try and read between the lines better as well.

    I think things are over for me. When I see my heart as dust... everything seems miserable.
     
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey "K",
    I agree with cashing out.. There are other women out there and one will come along..I went five years between my last GF and my ex fiance..I'm 53 now and have taken myself out of the game.. I am perfectly happy being alone.. My problem is I closed myself off from everyone.. Being here on the forum I have learned how to make friends again..Some I have carried outside of the forum and we email each other everyday..We're planning a group meet next year..
    Don't take your self out of the game.. Get out there and make it known you are available again..With a little self confidence you will meet someone.. I disagree with what you said about them only being good for one thing.. They have minds and feelings also..Please try to get out there...
     
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I was never in the game to begin with. i am pretty sure it is to late to start being in it.
     
  13. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    Bro bro bro, what that other guy says about whoever caring the least about a relationship being the one in control is 100% correct. I think it's from a book called 35 Things You Need to Know in Life. Read the whole book. In the meantime, you seriously need to start growing your balls. Sorry to put it so bluntly but I'm the same as you - I totally lost every single girl I've wanted because I was too pathetic around them. Have a look at this post and apply it in your life if you want any chance with your ex:

    If you are the sort of vengeful prick who’d put real effort into bedding an ex just to turn the tables on her with a grandiose post-coitus exit, then you’ll need a proven method for achieving your goal. One of the hardest feats to accomplish is re-igniting an ex-girlfriend’s attraction for you, especially if she initiated the breakup. Unlike guys, who are perfectly OK with return trips to the well no matter how dry, women have a no-looking-back switch that, when flipped, desexualizes the man she had spent months or years enslaving with her body. In her eyes, he is reduced to possessing the animal magnetism of a toll booth operator or a paperboy. Once she has crossed this rubicon of fatal unattraction, his chances of re-bedding her dwindle to zilch. You may think that the wild uninhibited sex bonded you two securely for the ages, but you can forget it – girls are creatures of the moment and if she dumped you you can bet she dumped all those memorable sex scenes, too. She’s saving her inner dirty ***** for a new man now.

    Given this reality, your best bet for turning her around is to put your plan into action *before* she formally becomes your ex. You have a short window of opportunity to do this. The longer you have been with her the more warning she will give you with her change in behavior. She won’t end a 2 year relationship overnight; you’ll have at least a month to clue in to the red flags. Your number one priority, then, is recognizing the danger signals. Infrequent or bland sex is of course an obvious indicator. Look for delays in returning your calls and texts. See if her eyes follow suit when she smiles (dead eyes are a dead giveaway). Tone of voice will always betray a woman – musical when she’s happy, girlish when she’s affectionate, breathy when she’s horny, monotone when she’s lost respect for you. Watch for contemptuous mannerisms like eye-rolling or tch-ing. If she starts asking you strange questions or leading conversations down bizarre paths, that is her way of smoking you out. She no longer trusts you to engage in normal playful conversation with you. Go with your gut. 90% of the time it will be right.

    Awareness of changes in her demeanor wins you half the battle. You must also maintain complete state control. If you give in to the rush of emotions that your traitorous brain floods you with when faced with an impending loss you will fail. What is required of you is to CUT AND RUN before her doubts about you cement. You must be the one to leave first. Minimize face time. Don’t call her. Be friendly but ambiguous. Don’t inquire into her life. Laugh off her crappy attitude. Most importantly, act as if nothing is wrong. If she senses you are acting aloof out of spite the spell will be broken. Eventually, she will wander back to you, bewildered and intrigued, filled with doubt about her hasty judgment. You will resume a pattern of dating and sex that eerily resembles the first few weeks together. NEVER give the game away that you knew she was losing attraction if you want to avoid rekindling her impression of you as a weak beta.

    What I have described above is the ideal ex-GF strategy. Like most ideals, hardly anyone lives up to them. And with good reason – maintaining composure in the midst of a dying relationship you don’t want to end demands superhuman grace under pressure. Only the strongest alphas with a solid stable of regulars can cavalierly brush off the prospect of one of his girls attempting to dump him. He knows she won’t muster the willpower to leave, but if she does it won’t matter anyway.

    The less experienced man caught offguard will need to learn the art of turning it around after her decision to leave is made but before she has reached the no-looking-back stage. Chances of re-notch success are much lower once she has verbalized her need for space, but with proper post-relationship game you can improve your odds dramatically. The key is in the timing. A mathematician has shown that the dumper’s loneliness and nostalgia for the broken relationship peak at about 3 weeks after the breakup, unless she has found another man in the interim. Therefore, your job is to let her go and not speak to her for 3 weeks. This will amplify her feelings of loss. Then, at her most vulnerable 3 weeks later, call to say hi. Keep the convo short and friendly. Chances are best right at this moment that she will offer to meet you for drinks.

    You’ll notice the common denominator with these strategies. They only work if you do the OPPOSITE of what the typical guy would do. Very few men getting dumped would have the presence of mind to lay low and refrain from trying to talk her out of her decision. But that is exactly the winning formula. Your breezy indifference will win back more exes than all the post-breakup talks in the world. Lean back, reap your bounty, and if you’ve got the balls calmly tell her after the post-breakup violation of all her holes “Eh, you know, I shouldn’t have taken you back. This isn’t going to work.”

    - roissy.wordpress.com.
     
  14. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the thought man. However, like I said it is over. She is gone, all of the stuff happened. She has dumped me and it is over. I could have used this information... god close to 8 months ago. Reading this makes me hate females even more. It gives me even less of a reason to live.
     
  15. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    Dude, stop! See, that is the exact sort of attitude that made her leave you. Yeah, hindsight is fucking awesome and I wish I had that sort of information when I was 17 but what can you do about it right? Well, I'll tell you what you can do about it. You're 24, right? Which means you have probably another 24 years of testostrone. Now that you have this information, go forth and fuck more girls. If you kill yourself now your number of achievements will be one. If you keep living and improving your sex life, chances are one day you'll have a better opportunity of getting back with this girl than if you had ended your life.

    Here's a few more tips for you - read them, memorise them, then be a man! Bro, I'm in the same boat as you. I've only come across this shit recently too and fuck it would have been good if I knew this stuff when I had the girls in my life. Too late now so all I can do is hope I don't fuck it up the next time a girl comes into my life.

    MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much of A "Nice" Guy
    Have you ever noticed that the really
    attractive women never seem to be attracted to
    "nice" guys?
    Of course you have.
    Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive
    female friends that always seemed to date
    "jerks"... but for some reason they were never
    romantically interested in YOU.
    What's going on here?
    It's actually very simple...
    Women don't base their choices of men on how
    "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do
    because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION
    for them.
    And guess what?
    Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that
    powerful ATTRACTION.
    And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
    I realize that this doesn't make a lot of
    logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET
    OVER IT.
    Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on
    it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that
    you want.
    MISTAKE #2: Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You
    What do most guys do when they meet a woman
    that they REALLY like... but she's just not
    interested?
    Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel
    differently.
    Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER
    CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO
    ATTRACTION!
    Never, ever, EVER.
    You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently
    about you with "logic and reasoning".
    Think about it.
    If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in
    the world do you expect to change that FEELING by
    being "reasonable" with her?
    But we all do it.
    When a woman just isn't interested, we beg,
    plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
    Bad idea. One that will never work.
    MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or
    Permission
    In our desire to please women (which we
    mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys
    are always doing things to get a woman's
    "approval" or "permission".
    Another HORRIBLE idea.
    Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men
    who kiss up to them... EVER.
    Don't get me wrong here.
    You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to
    like you.
    But if you think that treating a woman well
    means "always getting her approval and permission
    for things", think again.
    You will never succeed by looking for approval.
    Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their
    approval.
    Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if
    Wussy guys who chase her around and want her
    approval annoy her...
    MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection With
    Food And Gifts
    How many times have you taken a woman out to a
    nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had
    her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her
    even HALF as well as you did?
    If you're like me, then you've had it happen a
    LOT.
    Well guess what?
    It's only NATURAL when this happens...
    That's right, I said NATURAL.
    When you do these things, you send a clear
    message:
    "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so
    I'm going to try to buy your attention and
    affection".
    Your good intentions usually come across to
    women as over-compensation for insecurity, and
    weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I
    said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
    MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In
    The Relationship With Her
    Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most
    men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too
    early on.
    Attractive women are rare.
    And they get a LOT of attention from men.
    Most men don't realize this, but attractive
    women are being approached in one way or another
    ALL THE TIME by men.
    An attractive woman is often approached several
    times a DAY by men who are interested. This
    translate into dozens of times per week, and often
    HUNDREDS of times per month.
    And guess what?
    Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of
    men.
    That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
    They know what to expect.
    And one thing that turns an attractive women
    off and sends her running away faster than just
    about anything is a guy who starts saying "You
    know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two
    dates.
    This signals to the woman that you're just like
    all the other guys who fall for her too fast...
    and can't control themselves.
    Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
    There's a much better way...
    MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For
    Women
    Women are VERY different from men when it comes
    to ATTRACTION.
    You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
    When a man sees a beautiful woman
    he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
    But does the same apply for women?
    Do women feel sexual attraction to men based
    mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
    Well, after studying this topic for over five
    full years now, I can tell you that women usually
    have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by
    things OTHER than looks.
    Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more
    average and unattractive men with beautiful women
    than the other way around?
    Think about it.
    Women are more attracted to certain qualities
    in men... and they're more attracted to the way a man
    makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
    If you know how to use your body language and
    communication correctly, you can make women feel
    the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you
    that YOU feel when you see a beautiful young
    woman.
    But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how
    to do this.
    And ANY guy can learn how...
    MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
    One of the most common mistakes that guys make
    is giving up before they've even gotten started...
    because they think that attractive women are only
    interested in men who have looks and money... or
    guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a
    certain age.
    And sure, there are some women who are only
    interested in these things.
    But MOST women are far more interested in a
    man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
    There are personality traits that attract women
    like a magnet...
    And if you learn what they are and how to use
    them, YOU can be one of these guys.
    YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just
    because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
    Let me say this again: If you know how to use
    your body language and communication correctly,
    you can make women feel the same kind of powerful
    sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you
    see a hot, sexy young woman.
    MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
    Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look
    to a woman for approval or permission.
    Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys
    use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
    Said differently, guys try to get women to like
    them by doing whatever the woman wants.
    Another bad idea...
    Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can
    walk all over... Women aren't attracted to
    Wussies!
    MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each
    Type Of Situation With Women
    Now I'm going to blow your mind...
    A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
    Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than
    men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
    I know, it might be hard to believe. But for
    example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and
    you want to kiss her, she knows it.
    And if you don't know exactly what to do and
    exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there
    looking at her and getting nervous, she won't
    help!
    And this goes for ALL aspects of women and
    dating...
    Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking
    her out, kissing her, getting physical...
    everything.
    If you don't know what to do in each situation,
    you will probably screw it up... and LOSE
    EVERYTHING.
    And you KNOW it.
    It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY
    how to go from one step to the next with a
    woman... from the first meeting, all the way to
    the bedroom.
    MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
    This is the biggest mistake of all.
    This is the mistake that keeps most men from
    EVER having the kind of success with women that
    they truly want.

    - Dave DeAngelo

    I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

    Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

    II. Make her jealous

    Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

    III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

    Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

    IV. Don’t play by her rules

    If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

    V. Adhere to the golden ratio

    Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

    VI. Keep her guessing

    True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

    VII. Always keep two in the kitty

    Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

    VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

    Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

    IX. Connect with her emotions

    Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

    X. Ignore her beauty

    The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

    XI. Be irrationally self-confident

    No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.

    XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

    In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

    XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

    Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time.

    XIV. Fuck her good

    Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

    XV. Maintain your state control

    You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

    XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

    You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

    ***

    The closer you follow the letter of these commandments, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life.
     
  16. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    And secondly - don't blame the woman. She's just a biological creature who reacts to being turned on by jerks and turned off by nerds. Just like how us males are turned on by hot chicks and turned off by ugly bitches. Be grateful that all you have to do to get a girl into your life is to change your attitude, whereas for a woman if she's born ugly she'd have to do something extreme like get plastic surgery. So don't blame females. Blame yourself for not turning her on in the right way and improve yourself for the future. All the best mate.
     
  17. afauza

    afauza Member

    I just read first half of what u said; and second half (black beauty)
    what the f**k are u talking about?? did someone break ur heart so badly that u became so insensitive?
    women are not always stuck up bitchs like u call them, and men are not always stupid testosterone animals
    there is something called love, there is someone sitting in a hospital room with his wife who just lost her breast over cancer; and still he is kissing every part of her and calling her beautiful, from his heart, and really seeing the world in her eyes, there is a girl being with "ugly" man like u want to call; and same time poor and has nothing to offer her; just because of the goodness of his heart; there is men staying faithful to their wives even if it has been 30 years from their deaths, and still cant see any other woman, and still visiting her grave everyday to talk to her, there are women ready to walk on hell's fire for men they love,there is love; not only on movies; if the world was like u said; what the point of living? what seperate us from animals?
    last ps: im an attractive woman, that when i walk into a bar, half of the room hit on me, and i never look for muscles, or money; i loved once in my life, with a very nice guy; maybe at first, there was no attraction; but after being friends; u discover things u couldnt believe they exist in that person. so it makes both of ur theories wrong; men dont like hot chicks even if they were messed up in mind (in my post) because my boyfriend end up leaving me anyway, and girls not all of them look for attraction

    and Forgotten man, we all had our hearts broken one day; and u feel like the whole world stopps moving; and people say it will pass it will pass, but months and months pass, and u still dont see a change; only things getting worst and worst,ull feel alone and that no one sees u; u walk next to mirrors and u say : damn who would want me?
    im not gonna tell u; ooh it will pass, ull get over it, because u wont, ull feel pain; ull feel left out, and u need a lot of time to forget; but one day; trust me one day, u will meet someone who will "see" u, truely see u; and that day; ull look back and ull say: daamn it was all worth to wait; all pain was worth it.
     
  18. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Black Beauty: Thanks for the advice, however, I am too much of a hateful wuss now to really use any of the advice. Plus I downloaded the book you quoted. I am going to focus on my getting not fat before I am going to implement any of that advice.

    @afauza: I hear a lot of that. I will one day meet someone. I guess I can believe it on some level since that is what happened with my ex. Right now I am going to adopt the belief that females in real life only good for one thing. I will leave it up to them to prove that love actually exists.
     
  19. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    Believe it or not, she doesn't exist in life to meet your needs. She has the right to live her own life however she wants.Why be angry with her or other women because of this? She isn't responsible for your happiness, no one is. Perhaps you have some co dependency issues to work on.

    I don't know what on earth that was black beauty posted, whoever is the author sounds very immature, knows nothing about women, and is just trying to make a quick buck offering ridiculous advice. That advice could only possibly work on women with very low self esteem. The world doesn't need more manipulative people like that. There may be a few half truths in there like this one: "women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence". I don't think anyone does, that is too much pressure/responsibility/expectation on the other person.
     
  20. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Blue_Sky: I am well aware that she is not there for my happiness. I think I just like sex. Like she said, I started to like her less when she stopped putting out. Then again... what human being would not get frustrated when they stop having sex... well aside from females...

    :lol!: I think that book was written around 7 or 8 years ago. It is still pretty popular. There are lots of books out there that say the same thing.
     
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