I should have commited suicide a long time ago, but I just won't do it because I can't find a method that I'm comfortable with. I don't even know how to describe how bad my suffering is each day and nobody can help me. I want to die so badly, but why can't I find a way to do it? It just doesn't make sense. Other people kill themselves, but why can't I? God, I'm so tired of this crap. It never goes away. It's like a terrible nightmare that just never stops. I went back to this mental health treatment place. They're supposed to call me to give me the details of my next appointment. I don't know why I even went back there because I know they can't help me. I keep thinking that if I wanted to die bad enough that I could find a way, but I never do. I've searched and searched, but I just can't do it and I don't understand why. I feel so alone with this thing and I am, because nobody's going to help me to commit suicide.