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It's perfectly okay to be upset over celebrity deaths, this whole ''it doesn't bother me look how tough I am'' attitude is cruel.

Blood of Kingu

Well-Known Member
#1
It's like everytime someone famous dies, there's a new wave of people insisting on letting everyone know how they don't care that [name] is dead, rubbing it in the face of people who are mourning.

And I needed to share it because I see it all the time and it is infuriating.
Personally, I'll admit, I'm one of the guys who can get upset when I hear that someone famous dies. I never share it, I always keep it to myself but I do feel it.

Now I'll give one example, I won't give her name because I find it a bit tasteless to bring up a deceased person's name to ''prove a point'' so to speak. But this example saddens me deeply anytime I hear or think about it so it ought to mean something.

Regardless, here's why this case saddens me:
Because she was talented and I like her music sure, but especially because she was young and happy. Imagine being on top of the charts, being beloved and having so much potential to live life to the fullest after your dreams came true. You're happy, you couldn't enjoy life more than you do right now...
...and then an accident happens, and you're taken from the world. Just like that.

That's why I'm upset, that's why I grieved when I heard about it. ''Because she's famous'' is a grossly simplified reason why, when really I grieved because I heard of a young girl losing her life in a time of great joy. She didn't want to go but she went, it was out of her control. I believe I'm very much human for mourning over that, even if I never knew the person in question. This happened back in the early 2000s, but I don't think that changes anything really. It doesn't change the approach I took to mourning, the reason behind it.

I don't think I'm special or anything for viewing it like that, infact I think it's exactly the same for many if not most people. Fans and frankly sometimes just empathetic strangers are not as simple in their reasons why something hurts them as the so called ''tough'' folk argue.

Don't get me wrong though, it's perfectly okay to not feel upset either. The person is still a stranger, some feel something when strangers die while others do not. This is normal, we're different.

But please, please for the sake of others and respect, show some compassion and understanding to those who do. Don't rub your lack of caring in their face. That isn't much to ask at all.

I don't know why I needed to share this, it's just been bothering me for a long time how antagonistic people are to eachother for reasons like this. Why is empathy so difficult to have?
I truly think that one of the biggest factors of my depression has been the apathy of the world we're living. Those who care about more than just themselves and their kin are shunned.

Why does being compassionate make you such a target?
 
#2
There's a lot of angry people in the world. Not caring about the deaths of others, or attacking people who do care, might be a misdirected expression of their anger.

Not participating in social media where angry people run rampant might spare you from negative things like this.

I'm sorry you got attacked just because you cared about someone's death.
 

Blood of Kingu

Well-Known Member
#3
There's a lot of angry people in the world. Not caring about the deaths of others, or attacking people who do care, might be a misdirected expression of their anger.

Not participating in social media where angry people run rampant might spare you from negative things like this.

I'm sorry you got attacked just because you cared about someone's death.
Eh, it's not just myself. I can take attacks, I'm moreso deeply saddened by the overal attitude so many people seem to have. Some of these people I know IRL. I wish it was only on social media.

It's one thing to not care, it's another to rub it in the face of someone who does.
 
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Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#4
Hi Blood of Kingu. I wanted to say that I agree with you. A famous person is a person, and it's always sad when someone dies. How a person reacts to it depends on their personality, but it's always okay, no matter the connection they felt with them. I remember a few years ago a very famous person died. I was not a fan of their music at all, but I shed a few tears, it genuinely made me sad for them and for the people who loved them, including their many fans. I know I get very easily affected. I remember reading someone's post on social media criticizing people who were not fans but who "suddenly" cared about that artist and felt sad about their passing. I don't get what the point of saying that even is... Invalidate others' feelings? Some people even react by feeling sad and actually taking the time to discover that artist maybe for the first time. Nothing wrong with that, it's practically an homage, and if their music appeals to them at that point, then why not?
I'm sorry the loss of that person affects you this much and that you were attacked for basically having empathy.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
Am sad when certain people die. But am not at the same time when its their time to go its their time. Why get mad at others people for not caring about it. It was just another "number" to them they did not make the personal connection.

Honestly Certain Musicans to me means nothing in my book. But very few few others who have gotten on my radar for being cool person themselves in my book.

I might be the worlds biggest hypocrite on this stance because I dont care about anybody famous signatures or what they touched. Or something they owned. If I had Babe Ruths signature it means NOTHING to me. Baseball he signed. Big whoop! Nope. Still have no attachment to it.

BUT.... if i met Babe ruth I would be wanting to play with him and countless others playing baseball. Just for the love of the game. Nothing more, nothing less playing amongst the best of the best. Everybody has different ways of viewing other people they do not know personally and personally. Just because he was famous.

Basketballer? Nothing not even the weight of Kobes death himself moved me but his daughters death did. SMH hypocrite of me to say this? Its all a mixed bag for me when and HOW people die that makes me pause. Mikes Starrs death hit more harder for me because i watched him struggle on celebrity rehab. Was not sad when Michael Jackson died even if I liked his music and his lyrics. Weird huh?

Why get angry over people saying just because she was famous.... it is true in their POV why it is the way it is in their world. Why get angry at their POV its because she was famous is true to them why it made the news. She is just another number to them. Nothing personal about it. She is still somebodys daughter, somebodys sister, somebodys friend to people who was in her personal life. They are not rubbing it in your face whatsoever it is just not personal to them.

What infuriates me is the lack of celebration of life for the current living beings. Like Ruth Badger Ginsburg why didnt people focus so much on her good deeds when she was alive, no time huh? But people damn make the time after you croak. Now masks are being made in her memory. Just because she was famous SMH how hypocritical are people?

I know i went off on a tanget just saying its a mixed hypocrisy when it comes to those stuff!
I get what you are saying it is personal connection to you. She was a human being that meant something to you and it was a tragedy that it her life taken from her before her time. RIP to your person.
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#6
I have learned over the years the old saying is true, if you can't say something good about a person, just keep your mouth shut. Ginsburg is a good example with some of the crap coming out now. Show some decency, show some humanity to her survivors. Life will go on and all else will follow.
 

Blood of Kingu

Well-Known Member
#7
Am sad when certain people die. But am not at the same time when its their time to go its their time. Why get mad at others people for not caring about it. It was just another "number" to them they did not make the personal connection.

Honestly Certain Musicans to me means nothing in my book. But very few few others who have gotten on my radar for being cool person themselves in my book.

I might be the worlds biggest hypocrite on this stance because I dont care about anybody famous signatures or what they touched. Or something they owned. If I had Babe Ruths signature it means NOTHING to me. Baseball he signed. Big whoop! Nope. Still have no attachment to it.

BUT.... if i met Babe ruth I would be wanting to play with him and countless others playing baseball. Just for the love of the game. Nothing more, nothing less playing amongst the best of the best. Everybody has different ways of viewing other people they do not know personally and personally. Just because he was famous.

Basketballer? Nothing not even the weight of Kobes death himself moved me but his daughters death did. SMH hypocrite of me to say this? Its all a mixed bag for me when and HOW people die that makes me pause. Mikes Starrs death hit more harder for me because i watched him struggle on celebrity rehab. Was not sad when Michael Jackson died even if I liked his music and his lyrics. Weird huh?

Why get angry over people saying just because she was famous.... it is true in their POV why it is the way it is in their world. Why get angry at their POV its because she was famous is true to them why it made the news. She is just another number to them. Nothing personal about it. She is still somebodys daughter, somebodys sister, somebodys friend to people who was in her personal life. They are not rubbing it in your face whatsoever it is just not personal to them.

What infuriates me is the lack of celebration of life for the current living beings. Like Ruth Badger Ginsburg why didnt people focus so much on her good deeds when she was alive, no time huh? But people damn make the time after you croak. Now masks are being made in her memory. Just because she was famous SMH how hypocritical are people?

I know i went off on a tanget just saying its a mixed hypocrisy when it comes to those stuff!
I get what you are saying it is personal connection to you. She was a human being that meant something to you and it was a tragedy that it her life taken from her before her time. RIP to your person.
It's moreso that I'm angry at them rubbing in their apathy in the face of people who are mourning. Their own point of view is one thing, but using it to discredit someone else's grief is where I draw the line.

In the end whether I like the music, film or whatever is certainly something one could miss but not all too relevant to my personal reasons why I was moved and mournful. Now, I don't express mourning in a traditional way, rather than cry I distance myself from people to just sit down and cope with my sadness internally.

In this case, though I do like her work absolutely, it was truly her being so young and so happy that hit me. I considered the life of a fellow human being, a beautiful young woman full of joy after reaching her dreams, ending so suddenly. With some people, whether I know them or not, that reality gets to me and I'll mourn.
 
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Blood of Kingu

Well-Known Member
#8
Hi Blood of Kingu. I wanted to say that I agree with you. A famous person is a person, and it's always sad when someone dies. How a person reacts to it depends on their personality, but it's always okay, no matter the connection they felt with them. I remember a few years ago a very famous person died. I was not a fan of their music at all, but I shed a few tears, it genuinely made me sad for them and for the people who loved them, including their many fans. I know I get very easily affected. I remember reading someone's post on social media criticizing people who were not fans but who "suddenly" cared about that artist and felt sad about their passing. I don't get what the point of saying that even is... Invalidate others' feelings? Some people even react by feeling sad and actually taking the time to discover that artist maybe for the first time. Nothing wrong with that, it's practically an homage, and if their music appeals to them at that point, then why not?
I'm sorry the loss of that person affects you this much and that you were attacked for basically having empathy.
Well like I wrote down previously, in my case I did like her music despite her genre being R&B, which is very far away from what people perceive of me (Though that never stopped me from me appreciating what ''might'' fall out of my area. I'm happy that I'm able to see quality and talent in so many different things.) but it was the humanity. Her youth and happiness that got to me. Whether I liked her work or not doesn't seem to sway my feelings on the situation, not as much as the other reasons atleast.

So soon, in a tragic accident, and the victim someone so beautiful from both the inside and outside, not ready to go yet, I think, is what made this case so difficult for me to accept.
Perhaps I'm moreso mournful about it because it's not I who lost something, but she who did. If you understand what I mean?

I can handle being given crap over showing compassion, I can't accept people giving other people crap while they're mourning or for missing someone. That'll always leave a bad taste in my mouth.
 
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DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#9
Yeah i get that it sucks the way they treat others feelings like that. What about looking it at this way.

Some people dont know any better thinking oh you didnt know this person, personally IRL. They dont even know there CAN be people like you that really care about anybody. It is a genuine virtue trait some people lack. Its just common decency for another fellow stranger.

I would say there are people who drive by an accident scene that still goes to their destination with no afterthought given after an accident just occured....
Some will worry about it for the entire drive and dwell on it while headed to their destination ...
Others would call the emergency services
Some will pull over and see if they can help being passive. Just gawking at people. At least they are there to stare.

Very few will jump in and actively help.

All for someone they dont know or have met before in their lives. Each person is conditioned the way they are. Those people who are rubbing it in your face are more likely the same indifferent ones that drives by an accident scene not caring one bit. They are truly the ignorant ones. Hope it makes some sense. Im going to catch up on sleep just wanted you to know you are being heard and yeah you definitely got the right to be upset. Just dont let it get to it to you.

A stranger is still somebody famous in their own lives. So those people are still hypocrites for saying it anyhow that is another way to look at it.

Cheers
 

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