It's proven.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Sa Palomera, Feb 26, 2007.

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  1. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    What do you want from me? What do you expect of me? What am I supposed to do? What does everybody want!!!???

    I've grown up in an incomplete family, not getting the love I thought I deserved. My father gave me a tv, food, a house to live in, a dog, etc. But did I actually receive fatherly love? No, not as much as I deserved back then.

    Last night I nearly killed myself. I did it but it didn't do nothing but giving me loads of pain.
    I had a friend, she was ALWAYS there for me, especially the last weeks. She went through lots of shit for me. I kept saying she shouldnt, because I'm a bad friend. I guess I proved that today. She needed me, yet she called me to check if I was ok and all I could say (because I'm feeling so sick and tired as well physical as emotional) was "I'm ok. Take care" That was the conversation. Now she's feeling crap and I'm worried. Very worried. I think she's gonna do something. Yet I can't phone, or talk to anyone. That's the bad friend I am. Here I am, knowing I can stop her, but I can't do it. 2nd time in my life.

    Yeah, one who reads this; run away from me. I'm a bad friend and I do not deserve any friendship or love. if HE can't even give me love, then what's the point.

    I am going to walk away from this site after this post. Walk away from this site and the people on it. No matter how much I love some people here, I just can't keep doing this to any of you. I can't keep saying i'm your friend just to fuck it all up the day after.
    What I've told all of you has been proven again today: I'm a Bad Friend.

    Please do not try to contact me, because you will most likely not get the nicest respond if you DO find a way to get a hold of me. I'm a bitch at the moment. I'm broken. Shattered. And I can't do anything anymore. All I feel is the need to fuck myself up and to die. I'm trying to resist it, but I need to do this alone from now on. I need to do this alone. He abandoned me and he obviously wants me to be lonely. Well I'll do him the favour.

    I'm sorry to everyone here who's wasted their time on me.

    If you're still reading this; thank you for taking the time to read this.
     
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Read ny text very carefully. Please don't throw that away. Your not a bad friend no matter how much you feel you are. Trust me. I know. Please think about this. If you ever meant anything you said then don't do this. You said you needed me. Well i need you too. Please don't throw away how close we've got over the past few weeks.

    Please.

    xxx

    <3
     
  3. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    please don't die ester, i can't loose you, i just can't.
     
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