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it's really different now

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#1
There is no drama this time, no real sadness, just me wanting to and planning on dying. I feel no need to warn friends or family, I feel no desire for the drama or intervention I have wanted/needed in the past when I wanted to kill myself.

My attitude is of resolve and peace for having a decision and a resolution, not of panic and remorse or thoughts of consequences at all.

I have driven everyone around me away, so no one will miss me, I have tidied up my finances and my life, and I have the emotions as if I am planning dinner, not death.

I HAVE to interpret the peacefullness of this decision as correctness in this decision.

Has anyone else ever had their desire to die turn into a confident peaceful path like this?...probably only the successful who cannot answer...
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#2
The attitude of 'resolve' was for me, a signal that i needed help STAT...it was what scared me into a pdoc's office and on meds...it told me how very painful life was for me, and how I was not dealing with the pain in a way that was self-affirming (to say the least)...yes, now i have times when the echoes of this time comes back, but for the most part, I have some 'resolve' in real life...please stay safe and know that there are other ways to find comfort...please PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, Jackie
 
#3
you need find a interest in you live, i think now you like a shim in a sea and a capitan of this ship not have a compasess. you a lost. and of course you can kill yoself, but is you came to taht forum that you not planed kill youselm, you scare pain, but you need a interest. and you wont a live
 
#4
The attitude of 'resolve' was for me, a signal that i needed help STAT...it was what scared me into a pdoc's office and on meds...it told me how very painful life was for me, and how I was not dealing with the pain in a way that was self-affirming (to say the least)...yes, now i have times when the echoes of this time comes back, but for the most part, I have some 'resolve' in real life...please stay safe and know that there are other ways to find comfort...please PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, Jackie
:agreed:



I am here for you too! :hug:


xxx
 

Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#5
Ha ha yeah I have actually. But I have just wussed out. Genearlly I wuss out when thinking about what to put in the note. Mainly because my not would be incredibly long. And I have online friends who want notice... so I figure that means they want a note. And I have to customize my notes for each online friend. I do not believe in template notes.

But sooner or later I will have my success. I will write all the notes and then kill myself. But I will need a very sure method since I don't want to spend all that time writing the notes and not succeed.
 
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