Oh yeah, I am good at talking the talk, but when the crap hits the fan, I find myself feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelming and me don't so so good together. I have so much I need to stick around for. Just as the opportunities of my life start coming into focus, these thoughts start coming back too. What in the hell is that? I guess where I am at is that I feel like my Mom is going to drag me down into her despair and depression and hell. She is in her 60's. She has a lot of problems...some of them her own doing. But everytime I talk with her, she get me depressed about her crap. Then I start thinking about my own problems. And then things start piling on. Most guys would look forward to seeing a message on their answering machine from their Moms. Not me. When I get home from work, I feel relieved when she hasnt called. Some days it feels it would just be easier to crawl back into that bottle and never come out.