I've finally done it. No more servitude. No more finding twisted satisfaction in degrading myself. Master, I am your pet no more. One problem. Actually, two. It feels like no one cares about me...loneliness has settled in to stay. I'm not moving on. I feel like, if I wasn't good enough for HIM to fight for me, how could I be for anyone else? Am I willing to take that risk with another man? I've tried to soon already to move on and that's left me with less than the nothing I already had. Men are liars. Deceitful, malevolant, LIARS. They tell you they love you, they tell you they need you, but it isn't true. Figment of imagination. I won't believe anyone anymore. No, I'm not content with moping in my dorm room, wishing someone could make me feel alive... It's a shame really. I'm at a huge university. Thousands of students rabble around me. How DARE I claim that I'm alone? If I were to go out there though, it could only mean one thing. I'll find someone, put faith in him, let him have my heart, and he won't give it back. No one ever does. Becoming a lymphomaniac won't help either. Believe me, I've thought about it. As unbelievable as this experience, as this CHANCE for success is, I want to go HOME. Better yet, I want to die. No sympathy please. I just wanted to let it out. Let myself out. Although I am no longer following HIS orders, I still feel like a caged bird. Master won't set me free.