I can feel the urge, the endless desire to die. To put an ending to the infinite. I haven't felt this way in years. I attempted when I was 16... had a note and everything, but at the last minute the rope broke. I remember being really tired after that... I slept for a long time. I am now a college junior. I am 20 yrs old and I feel as if I'm being a dramatic teenager. I am struggling with self-injury, cutting. It's the only thing that makes it better, makes me feel in control and gives me relief, if only temporary. But there is no clear course, no way I see that will make this better. I am isolated and alone. And these feelings, these unrelenting emotions that scare me because of their magnitude, because of their intensity... Night falls and I feel Death calling me, beckoning... I dont know if I can resist anymore. I want the certainty. I want the end. I want the darkness and the peace. I want control. I want to take action. I want to make it all go away. I want to feel nothing.