I really wish I just had depression or anxiety or something and could just see a regular therapist. Cause here I am calling the entire city of Philadelphia (even though the phone scares the crap out of me, because I have Social Anxiety) in search of someone who knows something about treating Borderline Personality Disorder...and most people don't know a damn thing about what it is. I did find one place that does both individual and group therapy for BPD, but it's 50 for the initial appointment and 100 for every appointment after that, plus an extra 50 for group. I don't have a job, I can't afford that. I have insurance, but I have no idea who to ask about reimbursement options, since it doesn't directly cover the services I'm trying to get. And if I try to get a job (let alone the fact that I can't keep a job to save my life), I'll be left with no medical insurance because I get it from the government, and they'll take it away if I'm employed. And if by some miracle I am able to keep a job, if I get any insurance through that job, it'll be shitty insurance that hardly pays for anything. So there's no point it seems to lose my medical insurance that gives me free ER visits, free medication, free doctor AND specialist visits...only to get a job that I'll probably lose anyway, for just this one particular thing that may not even help me in the long run. Sigh. I do have enough money saved up to go to this first appointment, but I'm not even sure if it's worth it. Not to mention, since I was panicking the whole time I was talking to the person, I made the appointment for a day that I have another appointment on, and need to call back and change it...and she'll probably think I'm an annoying idiot. Ugh.