It's starting to feel as if my time has come

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Hae-Gi, Jul 17, 2009.

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  1. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    After my girlfriend was unfaithful in the most horrible way and thus, finally, irreversably ending our relationship, I'm really starting to consider doing it. The thought of dying just makes me feel happy. After all I have endured in this life, I know for certain that I would find my true love in my next life... finally be able to be happy. I have lived for over 28 years and while I still look very young and still look as good as before, I am just so tired of waiting. I really thought she was the one. Finally, I had found her. She broke up with me two times and the third time I guess we both did it. But I still really thought she was the one when she e-mailed me a month ago, and I took her back again, but then she went and sucked a guy's cock because I didn't approve of her getting tattoos... so the final fourth, irreversable breakup. It's hard for me to understand that this really has happened, but it has and there's not a thing I can do about it. I just have waited too much for my true love. I am so tired and I just want out of this pain. I have an interest in photography and have a new, great camera that I've gotten recently, and I keep thinking that I should take model-like pictures of myself as a pretty memory for others, and then just kill myself. It's the easiest way out. I have just waited too much and I want the pain to go away. The best with doing it is that I really do know that I would find her in my next life. Don't question me on this; I know I'm right. It makes perfect spiritual sense. The thought of doing it feels so liberating. I used to care what happened to my body after I'm dead, before, but now I don't even care if maggots eat it. So I can kill myself any way I want. It's so liberating to think of this ending. I tried hard enough; it's time to start over. Finally be happy in my next life, with my true love... I'd be her Master and she my slave, and we'd lose our virginities to each other and have constant sex and then finally, in time, have our romantic suicide pact together, and be together in "death", in perfection, for eternity.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2009
  2. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    Nevermind, I'm doing better, now. :l I really don't think I will kill myself. It's not like I lost my virginity to her. Could have happened but when I came to the US to meet her, it was decided I had to get a visa... thank god for that.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu deserve better someone who will be faithful and understanding I hope you find that someone soon There is always a chance. take care.
     
  4. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    :hug: i'm sorry things aren't going well for you, but glad you're feeling better and you're opting for life :) keep strong hun :heart:
    triggs xx
     
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