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Its that time again,the light is fading.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by shamps, Apr 23, 2010.

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  1. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    Its getting dark and I can feel myself starting to panic,not knowing how low im going to get when its once again dark and im on my own in this bed.I am living out of one room in a 4 story house as thats where the only belongings I have are.
    Tomorrow I must do the unthinkable and actually leave the house,I cannot put it off any longer.I not only have to deal with that but the reason im going out is to the docs.2 reasons;1-im admitting defeat and going to go back on my meds;2-I must get tested to make sure my cheating ex didnt give me more than I bargained for when we were last intimate........how humiliating but it must be done, already left it long enough.

    As if I havent enough to feel crap about :-(
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm really proud of you...you are doing good things for yourself tomorrow....
    the meds can get you feeling stronger and you will be empowered....
    I can understand the thing about the tests..I did that too and thankfully they were negative.....
    so stay positive and try to get some sleep if you can....
    I'll be thinking of you..:hug::flowers::rose::arms:
  3. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    Thanks hun,I would feel so much better seeing my own doctor but its an out of hours clinic through the hospital so I gotta go with it or il never do it.
    Besides,I really do need milk now:wink:

    Im resting in bed and hopefully will doze off eventually,I however cannot bare to switch my laptop off so for now il say goodnight incase we dont speak again untill tomorrow and thankyou again for being so understanding.xox
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just checking in to see how you are doing and how your outing went...hope you got out and will see your MD...big hugs, J
  5. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    Hey there,well I made it but it wasnt a good day for me.Apart from the obvious,I had really unsympathetic people around me.Basically blaming me for sleeping around when im the one whose been faithful all my life.

    I tried telling them but they wernt interested so I did what I had to and left feeling even crapper than when I went in.I have started to take my meds again.I dont think id cope this time without them.

    Thankyou for your concern it means alot.I am however not well today.Im stuck in bed yet again and unable to do anything.There was a post made in reply to something I wrote earlier and it really upset me.I come on here to feel understood and hoped people would care how im feeling,unfortunatly this doesnt seem to be the case for everybody on this site.:sad:
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'd like to know how you went to on your outing and how you're feeling now??:hug::flowers:
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