its the feeling alone that does it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by swimmergirl, Feb 7, 2010.

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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I am in a play, I am a talented actress, I gave a fantastic performance last night, we got a standing ovation, it felt wonderful. After the show my friends all came up to the stage and hugged me and told me how great it was and how much they enjoyed it. And then everyone left, and when I came out from backstage with my stuff it struck me, I was all alone again, and I had to go home and be alone. It is a horrible feeling to have no one to share your joy with, no one to just share life with when you need someone to be there. on top of it, the one person I really wanted to be there to see me perform, did not come, the disappointment hurt a lot. I feel so empty and alone I just wish I was dead so I did not hve to feel this ache inside.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel, I really do. Sure we all would love to have a partner to lean on but it feels really lonely to have nobody to share life's joys with just as much. I for one love having someone to fuss over more than I love being fussed over myself, seems you are probably the same way too.
    Well sorry I don't have more to offer you then to say hey I relate and understand but congratulations on your play and a job well can always share the good news with us here!

    Love Bambi
  3. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    That happened to me last weekend. I read a poem to an audience and it went over great. Got together with my friends later and we had a good time. Then I went home all alone and spent the rest of the weekend alone. I'm so used to being alone I don't know how to be with anyone else.
  4. ghazi

    ghazi Well-Known Member

    same thing happened to me. Had a play, it was fantastic, and went the cast party, even though I was on tech crew. Only thing was, due to me being on tech crew, i had a bunch of tools with me. while at the party i actually got so depressed that i left the cafe and went back to the gym and actually cut myself right there with one of the knives i had. I was so alone, i felt that i had nobody, even though I was surrounded by friends.

    I guess what im trying to say is that I know how you feel. it is nearly impossible to deal with it, but if you do, it will be one of the greatest accomplishments you have ever done. Try your damnedest to push through it. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.
  5. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member


    thanks, its sounds like you really understand what it feels like. I have been crying on and off all day because it just hurts so much to be forgotten, thanks for reaching out and sharing with me.
  6. ghazi

    ghazi Well-Known Member

    you are welcome. Just remember that you are NEVER alone. If nothing else, you will always have the people here at sf to help you through your time of problems. And as for me personally, i am always happy to help.
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