It's the only option I have left.

I have to die, I know it and I feel it.

I have my reasons (like everyone else: finances, family, life trauma, ect) - I just know it's my time.

I'm going to leave behind a family, and a boyfriend but they will move on in time

- Danielle

 

As I said in my PM, please contact me if I can be of any support to you

 

Hope you're okay and feeling better.

 

If they manage to conquer that feat... can you have them tell me how to? Losing someone that you love in this way is not the same as losing someone to a disease, in a war, or though an accident. I lost my child to suicide and that haunts me every second of every day and through nightmares that I have every night.

I hope that you reconsider and that you seek out the support of your boyfriend and your family.

 

It's not the only option you have left! I know that's how it feels right now, but as cliche as this sounds, that's your depression talking. The intense feelings will not last - it's simply not physiologically possible. They're like a wave, that comes up, reaches its peak, and then falls back down again. I don't mean to say that you will never experience suicidal feelings again - only that those intense moments you feel will inevitably subside, and things will look brighter, if only the tiniest bit. So when you find yourself in the grip of really intense suicidal feelings, think of nothing else except getting through the current crisis. Just focus on doing things to soothe and distract yourself until you start to feel a little better.

Ultimately, one of the things which will help you feel better is taking steps, however gradually, to improve the areas of your life that are hurting you so much. So, if you're feeling down about not having a job, for example, you can decide to work on one section of your resume one day - even if it's just the "objective" or whatnot. Then the next day maybe you can fill in what education you have. Taking small steps like these will help you to feel more in control of your life, and most importantly the things in it that are bugging you. Eventually, if you keep plugging away, you will find that you may be in an entirely different place than you started out - and that place may not be so bad anymore!

Please be kind to yourself during this difficult time, and remember that you can always post here if you need to talk.

 

dolly......... I thought and believed that too once, that I had to die, it was the only option I had left.

But, I was wrong, totally and absolutely wrong.......

It's just that I could not see it.

My thinking had gone down rabbit-holes. Please continue to write and share - .......... It is certainly possible for thinking to be healed........... I didn't think it was for me, in fact I believed it was not possible for me, but I'm able to look back now, in hindsight, at the healing that came - and know that if it happened for me (like it has, thank God) then it can happen for anyone. It is a process, but it is definitely there for those who choose to take it and seek it Even though they have their own mind to fight with first, it is possible to retrain your mind, hun