Hello. I'm 23 years old and I am male. I'm not going to go just yet. I think in a week or two. I'm just getting some things of my chest and sharing how I feel inside. My whole life I've felt the same. Empty, not understanding what the big fuss about life is, and always feeling down. I had always had this feeling and a type of "whats the point in life" mentality. I got on with it all though. Got through school, did a further two years at college, and then had my fair few number of jobs. Nothing ever changed really up until I was 20. I met someone. She was kind, really the nicest person, gorgeous girl, and she was actually into me. Two lovely years passed with this girl. But things didn't change with how I felt... I always looked at it as a kind of distraction from how I really feel. It was a 2 year blanket over my feelings. I kind of just got on with life because I was more comfortable with this girl. But something kept occurring in the relationship. I kept questioning myself; is this it? Have I found my bit of happiness? You see people worried that they are struggling to find anyone, someone to settle down with and start a life and family with. Is this it? I went from 0 to this and.. is this it? I'm not taking anything away from this girl. She is amazing and deserves a man who is better than me and wants to live life to the full with her. The reason we broke up in the end was because, surprise surprise, she finished me. The way I look at it is that she extended my life for 2 years, because if it wasn't for her, I would definitely not be here today. I had these feelings long before I met this girl. That is how I look at it. She raised my feelings to a normal being. But, unfortunately, they took a downfall back to normal after we were finished. And I'm back down in that horrible feeling once again. We meet again friend. Was I dependant on her? I don't think so. Like I said I was comfortable with her, and it was more of a distraction from how I really felt. Should I try find someone else? Why should I? So I can fool myself again and then sink when we finally break it off? Should I let myself fool someone into thinking I'm worthing being with? Why now, why not wait for a couple of years? Right now I have no commitments, and I feel ready. I'd rather take the chance now than be damning myself years down the line when I've got children relying on me. I've written this at half 6am my time and haven't had sleep for almost 24 hours. I think I've included everything but if not I will add into the comments section. Please feel free to ask me any questions or post anything at all. Thank you for taking the time to read this.