It hit me today, I 'm exhausted, no more energy, I 've come close to this many times before, but now I 'm past the point of no return. To whomever has been laughing with my pain for 42 years: you had your last laugh with me. My only worry is that I might screw this up, so I 've spent the day googling "successful suicide". I got some ideas, and I have 4 days to finalize this. I 'm not leaving a note or anything, as no one cares anyway. I thought though that, I could offer a small piece of advice: please DON'T USE CREDIT, no matter how much money you are short of, or how lucrative and "easy" it seems, just don't take loans and cards, they only add up to whatever else is shitty with your life. I can't emphasize enough the importance of this, and the situations that debt can drive you in. So I guess this is my farewell note. Please pray for me to do it right. Take care.