it's time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by missykate, Oct 12, 2006.

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  1. missykate

    missykate Well-Known Member

    I have messed up royally.
    I have always suffered from depression and anxiety but for the last year things have been out of control. When I went to get help for my issues I was told that I was bipolar.
    I have missed so much school and am in about $20,000 in debt. I am going to have to drop out of school. My parents have always put pressure on me to be the child that had the most college education. So not only will I be disappointing myself but my family.
    I have been struggling against my thoughts of suicide for a long time and I think I will stop fighting and just follow through with it.
    I am going to say bye to my close friends. You know wrap things up. Clean my room and all that jazz.
    bye
     
  2. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    its never time to give up. Have you tried to tell your parents whats going on? they shouldnt be disapointed if they can understand. Try speaking to your doctor about getting something for bipolar and find new things to do and ways to express yourself.
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hmmm well maybe do what I do... expect nothing good can come from you and not be suprised when you mess something up or fail at something. Just assume that it is because your existence is a lesser one. It helps push away feelings of disappointment it really does.
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You may have to take some time off from school in order to help yourself get back on track. This doesn't have to disappoint your parents. Besides, you need to go to college because that is what you want to do. Not because it is what your parents want from you. Things happen to us that we don't plan on. Sometimes we have to take the time to regroup and decide what direction we will take from here. You are at one of these croosroads. Take your time and figure out what it is you need for yourself to be happy and successful. Take care hun. I am rooting for you.
     
  5. missykate

    missykate Well-Known Member

    Tonight turns out to be a bad night. I got to say goodbye to my friend tonight...my best friend, my soul mate. Too bad it just isn't meant to be. We wasted the whole day being are usual selves. Then we stopped over at another friends house and got really high.
    I didn't clean up my stuff or say good bye to a few other close people. Weird how that works...
     
  6. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    can u answer something for me? how does someone that has such close friends and a family that wants to see the best for them get to that point of wanting to die? why would u want to leave them all behind grieving your loss and your life? i guess i have just never understood that but then again i don't have any of it. so it makes it hard to picture that in the first place. this is just my thinking but i would think it would be a much much harder dissappointment on your parents if you weren't around at all. my parents could care less, but your parents sound like they really want whats best for you and hindsight being what it is they obviously just feel really strongly this is something good you can do for yourself. i'm jeoulous actually. i wish you could see just how fortunate you really are. that is something precious and worth holding on to.

    i have two children of my own and as much as i want to see them go through college their well being will always be my biggest concern. if they are feeling overwhelmed i will do whatever i can to help lighten the burden. i know i can't take it away but maybe help them rearrange things a little so it's not all on one side of the room if u will. also i could never be disappointed in my children for honestly trying. really what more could i ask of them. that is a part of life we live and we learn.

    i'm sorry like you feel having bi polar is such a bad thing. i'll trade ya i have seven diagnosis'. i'm not serious about trading that at all i wouldn't wish for this much on anyone (ok maybe the ex-jk). i think it's more workable than it feels right now. there have been many successful bi polar people out there from my understanding jim carey is one of them. please don't let it get you down. there is a way for things to work out sometimes it's just a little harder to see. i hope you hang in there. i think u have alot more going for you than you think. things will be alright. you can pm me if u want. i am very creative when it comes to problem solving and i have been through alot. i would be willing to help if i can and if u want. anyways i won't bore you anymore and please whatever you do take care of yourself. things will be alright.
     
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