1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

It's Times Like These I HATE My Family

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~Nobody~, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Arrrggggh!!! I warn all who have got as far as opening that this is a serious rant. :rant:

    I am so angry and upset right now. This is just stupid.

    My brother has been off school all this week because he has been 'ill'. Because he has been 'ill', my mum has had an excuse to stay at home all week instead of going to work. She has been drunk since Monday afternoon. :dry:

    Because my mum wasn't, ahem, feeling her best earlier I agreed to cook supper. I asked what everyone would like, when everyone would like it (six o clock), and then made every fucking effort to have it done perfectly.

    My boyfriend said he was going to help me, then he fell asleep. And wouldn't get up when I said I had to start cooking. So I went downstairs and started on my own. My mum and her fiance were screaming at each other in the garden. I was ignoring them and just getting on with the food. My mum staggered in Fing and blinding under her breath. I asked what was going on and she just says 'grown up stuff'.

    Grown up stuff?! What the fuck?? Firstly, I am eighteen years old and therefore in the eyes of the law 'grown up'. Secondly, I have proven myself time and time again to be far more reliable, mature, and 'grown up' than ANYONE else in this house.

    But I didn't rise to it. I just left her to it. She hung around for a while breathing gin in my face and peering over my shoulder into the pans and oven 'to check that I was doing it right'. I said nothing. Eventually she staggered back outside, and then her fiance came back in. He made some shitty remark at me about how my mum was completely pissed, and I pointed out to him that he's the one who's been pouring her drinks. Surprisingly enough he didn't have an answer for that.

    They carried on arguing for a while, then my mum went into the living room (slamming the door) and put the telly on. Her fiance sat near me, told me how well I'm looking and hasn't that appendix removal made all the difference and blah blah blah (he has seriously convinced himself that my depression was caused by my dodgy appendix :blink:). This whole time I cooked and cooked and laid a table MYSELF with him sat right there doing nothing but drink can after can of Fosters and smoke cigarette after cigarette. Just as I was plating up the food he went and got in the bath. Great.

    I prepared this meal for EXACTLY six o clock, the time that everyone wanted, and in the end no-one was fucking there. The fiance was in the bath. My boyfriend was upstairs asleep. My mum was in the living room generally being drunk and miserable. My brother (who was supposed to be 'ill', remember?) was out with his mates. He was supposed to be in by 5 to but he didn't come in til 10 past. It was just me. Completely on my own with five plates of food.

    I took a plate in to my mum. I screamed my boyfriend's name repeatedly (from downstairs) until he woke the fuck up and came downstairs to eat. I reminded the fiance that his food is HERE. When my brother stomped in (without an apology) I plated up his food and damn near threw it at him (but didn't). I brought my food upstairs, and told my boyfriend to eat down there with my brother. This just isn't okay! I'm not okay! Nothing I do is ever noticed, unless it's something that gives someone an excuse to shout at me. I'm sick of my mum and the way she drinks, I'm sick of her fiance and the way he buys her gin gin and more gin and then complains to me about the way she drinks, I'm sick of my brother who is just a stroppy little teenage SHIT who thinks it's cool to make jokes about people cutting themselves and suicide. Right now I'm sick of my boyfriend who makes a real effort some days and makes me feel great and then acts like a complete tosser the next.

    I'm sick of myself, and I'm sick of my life, and I'm just plain fucking sick.

    I'm here with my fucking bag of tricks now, I have to cut. This house is driving me insane. Life is driving me insane. Why do I have to be supportive of everyone else's issues (my mum has... a lot, the fiance is insecure or whatever, my brother is fourteen and is full of hormones, my boyfriend has to put up with yours truly) but no one even RECOGNISES mine. It's just not fair!! :cry: :cry:

    I could scream. I could really, really scream.

    Now, a toast: To alcohol and razor blades....
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2007
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: 'Nobody'
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Tog, you have no idea how much I appreciate that you read and replied and gave me a hug. :hug:

    Thank you muchly. I won't forget it.

    Sorry for generally ranting in a stupid way :unsure:.

    x x x
  4. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    You're welcome. :hug:
    And it wasn't a stupid rant. It was a good rant.
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member


    A good rant... well it was certainly a rant! :laugh: This = Me... :rant: !

    I do feel a little better now. I mean, I can attribute that partially to the alcohol and self harm but the ranting certainly helped a bit :smile:.