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It's times like today...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hellwithhugewounds, Dec 29, 2008.

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  1. hellwithhugewounds

    hellwithhugewounds Well-Known Member

    I woke up today, and what's the first thing that happens to me when I wake up?

    My parents have already made arrangements for me to hang out with THEIR friends. And they said that if I don't go, they can't go either. I know they did this intentional to make my not wanting to go responsible for their not being able to socialize. It's not that they can't go if I can't go, it's that they WONT go if I won't go. It's times like this when I still refuse to go, because I know they're playing a guilt trick on me, that tensions comes up in the family. And where does this tension come from? Because I won't do as they say and go hang out with their friends? No. Because they CHOSE to create a tense situation when they know they could have just asked me without trying to make me feel guilty, without having taken action before hand to attempt to COERCE me to go. Like a 5 year old.

    They're gonna blame it on me now, be cold to me for a day, all because I won't socialize with their friends. Is there ANY sort of logic to that? it's like they're TRYING to pick a fight...

    And yet every time when we're all home that they come close to my computer, I have to click on the panic button, and pretend that I'm playing online games, because that's not suspicions to them at all. So today, when I hit panic, they think I want to stay home only to play games. But I guess that's my own dam fault.

    It's times like this I wish I could just leave it all behind.... fucked up parents and fucked up life.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2008
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There are times when we do things with ppl that are not our first choice, but we do them for many reasons...try to make the best of your parents' plans and know that it is a brief sacrifice for a larger peace...big hugs, J
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