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It's too much...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by paradoxrip, Dec 29, 2009.

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  1. paradoxrip

    paradoxrip Member


    I'm new, I guess don't know where else to turn. I feel this is my last place to express my despair. Currently i am paralyzed by depression.

    My life has crashed and burned in the span of 6 months. I'm very depressed and getting closer and closer to doing something stupid. I really can't take much more to be honest.

    I'm 42 and I have lost everything, AND i mean EVERYTHING. My job, my wife, my house, my kids, and a possible conviction.

    6 months ago I was making 120k a year had a beautiful wife and kids a large house. Everything was fine. Complacent you might say. Then everything changed and I can't pull out of this nose dive.
    I've lost a great sales job and I'm having trouble finding another. I'm currently collecting unemployment. My wife separated from me and I have just found out (Christmas eve) she's been having an affair with my best friend. The betrayal from my friend and my wife is almost too much to take. I've been in a state of crushing depression now since Christmas eve. I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm trying to keep it together because I love my 2 daughters soooo much, but the pain is starting to outweigh everything else. I don't know what to do.

    I want to keep my family together and my wife is confused and doesn't know what she wants. I want to forgive her but I don't know if I can. I'm so hurt when they both (my wife and my x-friend) knew how hard of time I was having. It's like they conspired to push me to the brink. I feel like i'm just waiting for that last straw to fall. I've been talking to a counselor and my Pastor but I get very little comfort, suggestions or answers. I really feel it's just a matter of time now.

    Suggestions? lol. I've never done anything like this but there's little else to do at this point.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    You're hurt from finding out about your wife and friend has just happened and all you have right now is the pain.

    Cry out to God. Tell him all of your pain as many times as you need to. Ask for his mercy on you to keep you going because your daughters need their father. Make sure to eat 3 meals a day, even if they are small ones. Go out for a walk around the block every day. Get as much sleep as you can. Go to church.

    This is a short term goal until you start to come through this initial blast of emotional pain.

    When your mind goes round and round read the book of 1Peter. You can also read posts here and post here as much as you need to. This will help to get the thoughts out of your head.

    In cognitive therapy I was taught: Thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to behavior.

    You may want to start a personal diary here on this site.

    I'm praying for you. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2009
  3. History

    History Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. I'm almost exactly like you. 38, Lost everything. Job, money, partner etc. Everything and life is pointless. You are not alone dude.
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