My life is so unbearable, and I just don't know what to do. I have no friends and no family who care about me. I'm in a horrible relationship with someone who is mentally ill. We have 5 children, and I try to hard to fight to stay alive for them, but sometimes I just don't know how I can go on. My relationship started in 1998. I had 2 children from a previous relationship. Everything was fine for a little while. He moved in and we were so happy. Then he started to be verbally abusive to my children and then to me. We ended up having 3 children together, then he told me he wanted to be a woman. Now he is she, and I am still miserable. Now I am forced into a lesbian relationship with someone who verbally abuses me and my two children from a previous relationship. I cheated with an ex (internet relationship, nothing physical) 5 years ago for about a month and now she uses it as an excuse to treat me any way she wants. She is severely depressed, borderline psychotic, with a ton of anger and bitterness. I constantly have to deal with emotional outbursts and cussing and other stuff, and whenever I try to leave she threatens to commit suicide. I don't know what to do. I don't see any way to get out of this but to just kill myself. The only trouble is, she hasn't worked in 10 years, won't do what it takes to get disability, and has no way to support anyone. I have the burden of supporting 7 people by myself, and we've lived in a hotel room for 4 years because I got evicted and I cannot save up to get out of here because it takes EVERYTHING I can make to pay this damned hotel! We barely have enough money for food. We also have no car. That means 7 people are in a single room 24 hours a day 7 days a week with no break. We have to take taxis to the store or order pizza, which we really can't afford. We can't get mental health help because of the lack of a car, and I can't save to get one when we already hang on by a tiny thread financially. Right now we are almost a week behind paying hotel, and I don't know how to catch up. I've been working selling premade websites for years, but the bottom has fallen out of the market in this economy, and I make half what I used to (or less). I can't get a job because I can't trust my partner to be alone with the kids, and I have no car. I just want to die. I don't know what other choice I have. I can't get away from this psycho because whenever I try she lays on the guilt about her abusive mother and the fact that she never had a friend when she was a child, and she has the torment of being transgender, and I cheated, and blah blah blah. I can't take it anymore! She says she wants to die, but she makes ME want to die!! I just can't take this anymore.