It's very bad

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Oct 18, 2009.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    :sad:I won't go into real detail's this is clearly out of respect to everyone and everyone deserves that.Thing's are really bad I don't know what to do,I'm struggling so bad with change all the condition's are hell because my ocd is so bad also I'm struggling to change so much.My Dr say's it's hard for anyone with Ocd to change,my mind is a real mess the problem is I try to to everything I do my best to focus on some thing's but really it's a nightmare to be honest.

    I've been trying so much to try and be calm but really I'm not coping so well.I don't know how to keep going on like this,as I said I'm not going into certain are's for clear respect for everyone.Just in real trouble that's all:sad::sad::sad:.
  2. KirstyMissJimBob

    KirstyMissJimBob Well-Known Member

    i dont know what to say but :hugs: and if u ever need to talk my msn is below or u can pm me. i hope things get better for you xoxo take care xoxo
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Perhaps try the changes you want to make a little at a time. Then you can review how they make you feel and you can work on the obstacles that you find, just a little at a time. That's the only way I have been able to make changes in myself.

  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are posting to get those feelings out. I know going for a walk always helps me as i have so much to see outside it takes my mind off things.
    can you call good samaratans or crisis line just to talk with someone as hearing a real voice sometimes help calms you down. I am sorry you are feeling this way but please note you are doing a good thing reaching out like this when you are not feeling well. Keep writng okay get the thougths out of your head and in the open so you can realize what they are just thoughts nothing more. sending your support okay always:hugtackles:
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Ace, Why don't you sit down and write out you goals.. Start with easy ones and check them off the list.. Only set yourself one long term goal..When you acheive it then you can move on to another..If you find you aren't able to acheive it then put it to the back of the list and work on another one..Just make sure you keep the short term goals going at the same time..(Does that make since??)..Anyhow I wish you the best!!
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thankyou all for your replie's the problem is it's so overwhelming,holding on is so hard.There's far too much to explain really,just wondering so often why am i here for,why do I keep holding on for?.Really I'm a 34 year old nobody,useless,pathetic loser,worthless stupid idiot who has nothing and only is good at making thing's worse for people.This is the real truth,what am i good for?Answer:Nothing at all yes that's right,so many people I know are good at something,me well nothing at all just a joke have these conditions am so twisted and screwed up really.

    If anyone lived in my mind and body they'd say to themselve's I'm out of here stuff being so scewed up like this.I'm the laughing stock of everyone I know they laugh and take the piss out of me so they should.Everyone I know has their live's on track,good jobs doing well while me the useless piece of shit is just an existing waste of space.Yes that's what I am it's so clear,I don't even have my job to go back to and it meant the world to me I lost it mainly because of my illness and also lost my licence so I'm a pathetic fuck that's what I am.The longer and more I stay I just keep seeing more evidence to show me I'm a dick.

    Really what's the point in staying really what is?to me nothing at all nothing I can go on and on but there's nothing worth going on for as much as I try to say it to myself.
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow I'm sorry your going through a tough time right now...I can relate to some of what your saying..I can't work due to my illnesses and its hard to accept...I see everyone succeeding and working or going to school and I can't be as normal as them...I think the key is to sort of accept that you can't work(and I know its hard) and work on yourself...does your doctor give you meds? Or any ocd groups? Maybe it can help?
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Oh yes I'm on alot of Meds 300mg of Zoloft a day,10mg of Edronax,150mg of Lamictal and 300mg of seroquel.But I'm just hopeless can't do anything right nothing at all so sick of being here,just can't deal with this anymore.So sick of the Bdd the ocd being so depressed as hell and anxious alway's.It doesn't stop nothing at all,just can't work out why I can't go to sleep and not wake up that's all.I'm so sick of it lack the motivation,struggle with change so bad because dealing with this shit of an Ocd is bloody a pain in the arse just can't be fucked anymore just can't:sad::sad::sad:.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I wish they could find the right combination of things to help you feel better ace. I will keep you in my thoughts. :hug:
  10. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug: I'm here for you if you need to talk.

    I know you can't see it, but you are really the best in this world. :hug:
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