its very hard

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Aug 28, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i want to do whats right to get better but god its hard because it just brings back so much pain. NO pain No gain right but dam tears dam them come to frequently now without warning I don't want people to see me this way. I am always in control Going back to work next week i hope all goes well and no more pain i hope i can just hold it together bills have tobe paid and i can't be coming this dam weak VULNERABLE person i can't because i will be her again and i can't go back there. I just have to tell my brain enough already get on with life and not let all this bs from past destroy what i fought so hard for. I am fighting something that is not real anymore and it is taking my life away from me now i got to stop this from happening I am strong i don't need anyone i just need to smarten up and get on with life i can do this just can't let emotions win thats all. sorry just talking to self again i will win this i will.
  2. peter simon

    peter simon Guest

    A few weeks ago I expected and prepared for death to come I began to firgure out what I would tell my wife and family. I hated the constant fear of the unknown and what was wrong with me and just wanted it over.

    I fought so hard to keep control of myself and act like everything was cool and I could handle it. Meanwhile I began to see cancer take over a close member of our family. I felt like me in her might be in the same boat.

    We try so hard to manage ourselves in times where we can't in our own strength. There was someone I used to know that I had not spoke to in a long time. Someone who let me know that I didn't have to do it on my own and that I wasn't alone, and that my burden didn't have to be my own. Though the pain didn't leave right away, the fear subsided. I began to let go of trying to keep everything in control. At first I felt like everything in my life was going to fly apart like a wound up spring but it didn't. It was like a huge stone fell off my back.

    I not sure how well you now this someone but he prompted me to come to this site and he's prompting me to talk to you. I can't speak directly for him as well as I should but I'm pretty sure you are on his mind more than you know. You mentioned him in the first scentence of your post. And if I a stranger feel for your suffereing as much as I do, he feels that much more for you.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Violet I feel for you!! It is hard to stay in control all the time..I had someone give me some advice to go somewhere secluded and just yell at the top of your lungs until you can't yell anymore.. It's a great stress releiver..I hope all goes well for you when you go back to work.. You seem to be a strong willed young lady so I have confidence that you will find that inner strength..I wish you all the best.. Take care!!!
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sounds like good advice this yelling but now tears are coming hard wish i could stop them oh god i don't need this right now i need a way out from all this. god he never helped i wnet to churhc i prayed no one came. no one ever came thought i won i was on top of everything I had someone tell me what you give out you get back ten fold i have given and given and given but still i see only pain in this family only pain i m tired i need strenght from somewhere to get me out of this i hope i find it soon
  5. peter simon

    peter simon New Member

    Sorry, I didn't mean to offend or bring up stuff.

    Alot of people have had bad church experiences. Alot people say all kinds of things and prayers aren't always answered they way we expect and it doesn't always make sense why we have to suffer like we do.

    I had a hard time growing up and had alot of counseling. Came pretty close to not being here a couple times. Sent up alot of prayers that didn't always seem like they did much. But he did give me people who listened and let me know I'm not alone and that was a saving grace.

    And you are not alone. Me and other people here listen to you and feel for you. I got picked on alot growing up and didn't see much good in people and kept to myself. But my heart changed and I began to care for people and feel for them and thats why I came here.

    I hope things change for you and I will pray not to offend you but because I feel for you and want to give you hope.
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I would suggest leaving God at the door. Or move it to the Soap Box.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    no thanks for prayers maybe if someone else does the praying he might listen any help whatsoever that will take this dam pain away and make her heal.
    thanks for your care and your prayers like i said maybe from you he will hear.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.