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"its your own fault"

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by roo_army, Nov 25, 2008.

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  1. roo_army

    roo_army Member

    People keep saying this to me. I'm digging myself into a hole, like i purposely want to feel like this.
    Why would anyone voluntarily push themselves down?

    Another thing is that its important to talk about it. But once you've explained the situation to your friends and family what else is left to say? After you spend a day crying in someones arms and they send you home, you cant do the same thing over again the next day. Its not fair on that person for a start.

    Admittedly, I havent sought professional help yet, but I have been through the process before and found it to be one of the most stressful things to do.

    Anyway girl commits suicide following breakup from boyfriend, could be the lamest thing ever. But my lack of coping with this scares me. What if someone dies, what if i get cancer, what if i get married for 20 years and the husband cheats on me. If i cant cope with this, there is just a multitude of other issues awaiting me to finish me off.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya, roo,

    I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this low. Many people who have not experienced depression themselves don't really understand that it is not something we do to ourselves. I hope that your friends and family do come to understand.

    Therapy can be stressful as it roots out all the old hurts. It can also take time, and might stop and start again, depending on what's happening in a person's life. Maybe you can give therapy another chance.

    As for handling what life tosses our way...No one can do more than their best under the circumstances, so just do the best you can. You have been strong and courageous enough to seek support here. I believe you will be strong and courageous enough to handle other things.

    Please stay safe.


  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Roo and welcome...I surely hate when the hurting one is blamed...like we would not change if we could...but do not run too far ahead of yourself or you will surely be overwhelmed...and maybe now is a good time to revisit how a professional can help at this time...big hugs, J
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I believe statements like it's your own fault don't help at all. They are obvious put-downs and I think it's best to annoy these people.
    However, there is a sense of empowerment knowing that wherever we are we WANT to be. And discovering the reasons for why we've put ourselves in situations or why we feel the way we do is our responsibility. Otherwise we are just at the hands of a merciless creator, or have no control in the matter, leaving us helpless in defense to our mental "illness" or whatever other situation we find we don't want to be in.
  5. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    I confessed to my dad that I had attempted suicide recently. He got angry at me and said, "You are acting like an immature three year old!!" "It's selfish! Suicide is selfish! Do you know what that does to the others around you?"

    And all I felt was, yeah he's right...and worse.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    hey Roo,
    It sounds like you are trying to fortune tell what the future will bring. Leave to itself. Work on living for the day and set small goals for yourself. Don't worry if you don't accomplish one just put it at the bottom of the list and try the next one.
    I agree with the others about you needing help. If nothing else at least go see a therapist. I put more faith in them than anything else. They can teach you how to cope. You have to tell them everything and don't hold back. This helps them put together a plan to help you regain some of your old self. It takes a little time because you have to get past the akward feeling and learn to trust. I hope you get the help and welcome to the forum!!~Joseph~
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