yeah please shoot me, this evening I turned out to be *that* woman. the woman I detest. I had a little "fun" with one of my housemates\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ who's got a girlfriend. :shy: and I'm sleep so I guess i'm a heav of rit bad
Hey sweetheart, me and you have talked about this and you know what i think. Theres not much i can say, i wish i could say more but i honestly don't know what i could possible say to make ypu feel better. I can completley understand the way your feeling over what happened. I is glad ya trusted me enough to tell me what happened and called me before :hug:
Remeber what i said on the phone earlier hun. This will all get sorted. Trust me :wink:
Hope your allright as the last bit of your posts didnt make much sense.
Yeah, it was a mistake and you can't take it back, so quit punishing yourself, you have to get past this and if you keep punishing yourself it turns into a vicious circle of chaos. So, just let it go, leave it in the past where it should be. Take care of yourself, Ester. I am sorry we haven't talked much lately but if you need to talk you know where I am. :hug:
It's just.. I don't just feel guilty. It's also cos I confuse myself. One moment I HATE guys and am disgusted with them and can't stand any physical contact with them cos it reminds me of the past and god knows what and the other I just crave for them to use my body. I guess my body is so used to being used by men or something. I don't know. It's just confusing. I mean, I HATE sex. I truly HATE sex, yet I go around and let them ... and god knows what else.
I'm confused with myself :unsure:
Hun i told you this on the phone, you can't just let this keep happening. You do things to please other people wether you want to or not. Thats not right. I know you said you don't care, and when i said you should it sounded like you got pissed at me, might of being because you was annoyed before you called me, i dunno.
It's natural to feel guilty but you gotta remember it wasn't just you, he's the worst for doing what he did. Like i said yesterday, if it happened it happened, not much you can do about it now. I know your confused sweetheart, its not suprising with that with whats happened in the past and recently.
Babe you gotta listen to me, you can't keep letting this happen, letting yourself be used like that, its just gonna confuse yourself even more. You say you dont care, well i DO! i don't wanna see or hear your being used by people sweetheart, it hurts. No one should ever be used in that way. If you hate sex so much, why let it keep happening? if you hate it you NEED to stop letting situations like that happening and not let things happen because you feel you have to.
You know i care about ya and i'm here anytime for ya, you know where i am if you need to talk, i even give ya permission to wake me up like the other night :wink: lol
(ps. sounded a bit chilly last night :wink: :rofl hehehehehe :tongue: i was laughing so much when i came off the phone because of you lol :laugh: