I've already decided...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Alaska, Sep 8, 2014.

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  1. Alaska

    Alaska New Member

    I made up my mind, that I will be "going" -I guess is the best way to put it-. But a close friend of mine once said that all you have in life is to leave behind one little thing that can make this messed up world a tiny bit more bearable, or just something that people can remember you by. I don't expect anyone on here to remember me, let alone read my posts, but I guess I still want to leave something just in case. I don't want help, and I really don't want pity. All I want is to leave a little something behind, even if it might be cruel for those who know me. It would be easier if they could forget me. Either way I started a journal, it's an "If I should die at 17" journal. When I first got it I didn't think I'd die anytime soon. But now it's all I can think about. Once I decided I finally felt at peace, so now I just have to write to everyone of my close friends, those who are seen as my family and then I'll be gone. I don't really know why I'm sharing this I guess I just want someone knowing now and not later when it's too late. I'm just sorry I have to hurt people in the process...
    ~Alaska
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Please DO NOT DO ANYTHING at all as you are young. I understand your feelings but you need live your life and do not think that nobody cares. I care enough to post as I do not want to think you are suffering alone. Your parents and family would miss you completely. People who are members of this forum understand what you are going through and do not wish you do anything.

    Whatever you have got planned, PLEASE DO NOT ACT UPON IT AND THROW ANY TOOLS AWAY. Please speak to your doctor or specialist telephone line and explain your feelings. I appreciate you going through a tough time but just take one day at a time. Keep posting here for advice and support. Perhaps use the diary facility here to write your feelings down and release the emotion that way.

    YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND DO NOT THINK ANYTHING ELSE.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2014
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I remember you Alaska and it is good you are reaching out here for support You are at peace with your decison of leaving but i can tell you there will not be peace left here if you leave
    Journal your feeling ok suicidal notes are not allowed on forum even in your journal they will be removed. You are important and you do deserve support and care Keep reaching out for it ok
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Welcome to the forum. This is a great place to get some support and have a place to share your feelings and problems without judgement to get advice or just be heard. This is not a place to leave suicide notes or detail your preparations to commit suicide as they do not do you or any of the other members any good and the purpose of this forum is to help people feel better, not to come find things that upset them and can do nothing about. Their are plenty of places in the world already where people feel helpless and we try to be a place where people are allowed to discuss things and not feel ignored. Their is a private diary section that can not be read by anybody else and while suicide notes per se are still not allowed you can write their "just for yourself" if you do not want input. If you do not want input then really their is no point in writing where others can read though.

    If you would like to share where the first thoughts of wanting to die came from and what is making them grow and get some input on that and support please feel free too, we would like to listen and help.
     
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